emerson's blog

can't make love

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Submitted by emerson on

okay, the reason is not that I can't, but I won't.

I sit on my side of the couch, she on hers.

We don't touch.

We don't snuggle.

What's wrong?

I have the flu and I don't want my beloved to get it.

So we are apart for a bit.

Life continues to be a complete blast. Just off the charts wonderful.

Happy New Year. 

one year later

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Submitted by emerson on

I've been here a year now, counting the lurking time, and I learned so much and my life really changed so much that it is hard to believe.

I gave up a lifetime of masturbation a year ago completely and totally without any real issues. I was thinking about that again today. How easy it was to completely and totally stop, something I never could have imagined.

I have had two orgasm/ejaculations this entire year, one planned and one accidental.

And it's been a blast. 

Feminine lock-down: my latest take on it

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Submitted by emerson on

Some of the guys here have been experiencing what Darryl calls so aptly feminine lockdown. Women who just seem closed to their sexuality and pleasure from sex, often even talking about sex.

My partner is fabulous and the most amazing person and she is in a lockdown situation as far as I can see.

I think a lot of lockdown stems from women feeling vulnerable to being controlled by men. 

how much arousal?

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Submitted by emerson on

I'm wondering how much arousal you have in Karezza. It seems there is a spectrum here.

Door #1: Karezza is connecting with very little arousal for a long time --

Door #2: Karezza is having sex without orgasm, with a lot of arousal but short of orgasm.

I'm more Door #2. We have fairly aroused sex, at least I do, and sometimes my partner has an orgasm. Not sure that the Karezza police will come to my door and arrest me, but I'm pretty sure it's okay and we won't get busted. 

what do you do when you or your partner is sick?

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Submitted by emerson on

My wonderful wife is sick with a nasty cold. Snuggling is difficult because she is sniffing and wiping her nose. And we aren't having sex either which is totally fine. I am feeling okay, hope I don't get it. She's amazing though, how she works and does everything despite the cold. She is the most incredible woman for sure and I am so, so so lucky.

What do you do when you or your partner is sick?

Enjoyment of silly movies and the "Karezza" lifestyle

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Submitted by emerson on

Went and saw the Bond movie today, Skyfall.

And movies like this are all about dopamine, it seems to me. Newer special effects, scarier situations, etc. Novelty and unpredictable rewards.

And they just aren't that interesting to me anymore. Is there such a thing as losing interest in this stuff because as they used to say kind of like "I"m high on life" but "I'm high on oxytocin" Dance 4

O today

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Submitted by emerson on

She continues having an occasional orgasm. The thawing seems to have settled down and is hard to discern but I'm sure it's there.

Today she had an orgasm and then I couldn't help it and I had one. I feel kind of drained and depressed. Kind of like I had the stuffing knocked out of me. I never noticed this before after I had an orgasm in "the old days." I don't like this feeling much at all.

Time to get back on the horse. No big deal. It's just striking to me, a huge learning experience, to notice this at this point.

thawing continues

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Submitted by emerson on


Although for my beloved partner, it's mostly non-orgasmic most of the time, lately that's changed and she is having orgasms more frequently. She had two orgasms in quick succession today. That hasn't happened for a long time. 

Most of our sex is Karezza, and for me, I continue on this path of loving non orgasmic sex. For her, she is enjoying the new space she is discovering and her sexual intensity is increasing. I think this is very healthy for her as she is doing her own thing instead of whatever I have on the menu.