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quiet breakthrough

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Submitted by emerson on

Ever since we started this journey of Karezza it was mostly all my initiative, my drive, my pushing.

My partner was going along with me but over the months it's been much of an act of faith on my part, and of course the huge pleasure I get, that has kept us going on this path.

Then last Sunday she and I had an orgasm which I mentioned in my previous post. And she made a positive comment about this approach. Since then, it's been MUCH better. She has lubricated a lot better and is more into the whole process. 

time to have an orgasm

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Submitted by emerson on

it's been about 10 months since I had an orgasm and that long since I masturbated.

For a few days I've had a surprising re-appearance of blue balls. Not sure why. But it's been aggravating. I think my body was saying it was time to get the ol' prostate doing its thing.

I didn't tell my partner what I would or wouldn't be doing, just figured, hey, if I feel like it I will.

things are great

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Submitted by emerson on

We've been at this adventure for about nine months.

I've stopped worrying about my wife or her lack of libido or whatnot. That's just crazy and I finally figured out that it is totally unnecessary.

We have sex every few days and I really enjoy it more than anything. And she seems to enjoy it too. 

They say "actions speak louder than words" and those are the actions. The rest is just a bunch of garbage my mind churns up and I don't have to listen.

a new trick -- and focusing on yourself not your partner

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Submitted by emerson on

 

I learned a new "trick" today in Karezza this morning.

I can relax my root and draw the pleasure up into my whole body. It is simply astounding. Don't know what to call it but it is extremely and amazingly pleasurable. It's a full body experience and kind of like an orgasm but not in the genitals but all over.

valley orgasm?

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Submitted by emerson on

 

I experienced something today and it lasted for several minutes. I wasn't erect at the time, just kind of inside her hanging out. And it wasn't something I felt in my genitals at all. Just all over. It wasn't waves really. Just a steady state of incredible whole body pleasure. I had been focusing on relaxing and we had been having intercourse for about 30 or 40 minutes when it happened, in scissors position. 

She has no libido - what to do

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Submitted by emerson on

If you've read my blog you know that my partner is low libido and we've been having a lot of Karezza sex. Up until a week ago.

Then I just got tired of it. She hasn't been really into it all this time. She has kind of put up with it, I would say, without any real enthusiasm or interest. So I said I wasn't interested in that path anymore.

We've had some discussions since then and a few times we've had intercourse. It's like I'm trying to "fix" her and she's extremely defensive, obviously. 

"I don't feel as much as you do"

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Submitted by emerson on

Things are great. We have sex almost every day and really enjoy each other so much.

She still says that she doesn't have the same feelings as I do. I have sent some of Rachel's posts on breasts and quotes from Richardson and I think she's reading it. I'm kind of working with her in a light way sometimes to focus on her breasts. And I'm not touching them with my hands so as not to evoke a defensive reaction. (Thanks Rachel for your amazing posts.)

My partner has never meditated or focused her thinking that way and it's new to her. 

Can a woman do Karezza if the man isn't into it?

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Submitted by emerson on

To me, Karezza is a mutual experience. It is more than just being "non orgasmic". I think it's pursuing sexual intercourse with the goal of bonding and union without the interference and interruption of orgasm and all the goal-seeking and arousal-climbing that orgasm entails.

It isn't possible to do Karezza really unless both partners are into it.

But Darryl has said his wife was having orgasms for years before she chose to stop having them. And my experience is a bit similar so far.

So here's the point.

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