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do these amazing feelings ever wear off? Habituation inevitable?

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Submitted by emerson on

I've been with my wife for a long time now and since we've been practicing Karezza and a lot of bonding behaviors, I have gone from really loving her to being totally crazy about her.

She wonders if this will wear off. She thinks it will.

I think it won't.

Sood had an interesting post several years ago here:

[quote=sood]

 

whoa, brain chemistry, what a lesson

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Submitted by emerson on

I've been on a paleo diet and pretty low carb at that. But not ultra low carb and not zero carbs.

Last night we were at a restaurant and I thought, better have a yam or something but they didn't have anything acceptable on the menu. I realized I hadn't eaten any carbs to speak of all day.

Felt weird driving home, had these anxiety thoughts about ED, which is weird because this isn't an issue for me anymore. I thought, this is what the HOCD guys feel like.

I embraced the thought and just went with it.

mini rebooting account and Karezza account

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Submitted by emerson on

Marnia had asked me at some point to provide an account of my getting into Karezza and I thought I'd start that here. If you've read my previous posts this will be somewhat repetitive.

This is a story of my going from porn and masturbation and occasional ED to no porn, no masturbation, no ejaculations, no ED and wonderful sex and an even better life than before (and it was good before.)

some successes and interesting events

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I had a dream last night where I was studying some file folders of other "cases" that were collectively labeled "bonding" as in "bonding behaviors" and I got a bit aroused in my dream. I thought, this is a dopamine thing and it isn't good for me.

Next moment I was somewhere like a hotel room  (traveling in real life quite a bit) and although I didn't touch my penis, I ejaculated and thought "oh no, I didn't want to do that!"

Woke up but hadn't really ejaculated at all.

sexual prosperity

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Submitted by emerson on

I thought I'd briefly discuss why this is such a wealthy practice, this Karezza.

I think I always lived in the past with my beloved with a state of lack, a state of fear of not getting enough sex. Fear that I wouldn't have an erection, or that it wouldn't last.

I know a lot of guys who feel the same way and they live that way.

When we had sex, it was to reach an orgasm or else it wasn't a success. When the orgasm was over, it was over. And as time went by, my beloved got more ordinary looking and I continued feeling that lack and that sense of anxiety.

pressure to have an orgasm

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Submitted by emerson on

I noticed today my lovely partner got aroused after a bit and was going for orgasm but didn't have one. She said she had fantasized during this time when she was having intercourse with me but didn't feel like having an orgasm. We're around day 28 for her since the last one. I asked her why she didn't and she said for some reason she didn't feel like it at some level.

I offered to help her out and she declined. I noticed a bit of a feeling of regret on my part, regretting that she didn't come even though in my heart I think that's better really.

Family Guy Episode on Cuddling

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Submitted by emerson on

The Family Guy episode that just aired, Mr. & Mrs. Stewie, has a subplot where Peter andLois Griffin is sleeping in a separate beds, and Peter misses the cuddling. So Peter proposes to Glen Quagmire that they cuddle by sleeping in the same bed. It's pretty funny actually although the main plot (Cate Blanchett guest voices) is quite dark.

I've noticed more attention recently in the popular media about cuddling and bonding behaviors in general.

here's what our Karezza experience looks like now

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Submitted by emerson on

Quick recap: I've been on this adventure since the middle of December.

Since then, no porn, no masturbation and no orgasms for me at all.

At first I was very needy and my partner and I had to work out this new way of living. I was so afraid of not getting enough sex.

It's smoothed out quite a bit. I'm not needy anymore. And she comes to me for comfort on her own and we sometimes have sex and we sometimes don't. We had sex four days in a row and none for a few days. We're really in sync now and I know what that means now.

when orgasms are infrequent, is the fallout worse?

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Submitted by emerson on

Just wondered this. She had an orgasm the other day. This time around it seems much worse in terms of fallout. She's had infrequent orgasms for the last 4 months compared to the old days. Is it common for the fallout to become worse with less frequency? Or is this something else perhaps?

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