emerson's blog

is this a rebooting thing, anxiety or just something that will pass

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Submitted by emerson on

Today we spent a long time cuddling. I had written off sex for this morning.

Then I went on top and did soft entry. At some point we were kissing and the kisses changed quality, much more sensual and involved, more mutual. This is very unusual.

I kept my penis soft at her entrance and she was dry, then at some point she was wet and we made love for a bit. After awhile I pulled out. She said she felt it a lot more then ever before, and described the garden of love area and that somehow I had gone deeper and she had really felt it this time.

is she aroused? Too much focus on my partner?

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Submitted by emerson on

I am really having a great time with Karezza. This journey has been amazing.

I was realizing today that perhaps I worry or think too much about whether my partner is actually aroused and enjoying things.

I mean, I want her to be. But the real magic of Karezza happens when I go inside and am very present in my own body, lately with a focus on the root of my penis and my solar plexus. That's when things get amazing for me. And I think that I focus too much lately on how she's doing and what she's feeling.

Desiring desire?

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I said that there was something wrong. That she shouldn't be having sex with me and not getting aroused. It was either hormonal (which I doubt) or it was me, perhaps, and I understood that and want to change so I am no longer a source of pressure and defensiveness.

"I knew you wanted to do it"

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My wife loves me very much. Tonight we were laying down and she was tired, I could tell. And she started to stroke me and then said, do I want to come in? So I did. For a bit. Maybe 10 or 15 minutes. And then I stopped.

I asked her if she had enjoyed it. And she was honest, bless her heart. She said she wasn't really in the mood. I am always grateful for her honesty. I asked her why she invited me in. She said she knew I wanted to.

happiness and frustration

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Submitted by emerson on

We have intercourse about every other day or maybe slightly less often these days. But about that much occasionally missing a day.

Today she woke up and didn't want to cuddle. She feels trapped that I always want to do that and she wants freedom to come downstairs and drink her tea and get on with her day.

Fundamentally that is the issue for me. Although we are in (her) post-O stage (day 10) so it's hard to say what's affected by that or what isn't.

a new dialog between penis and vagina (and breasts)

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Submitted by emerson on

Last night was an adventure. We cuddled and I started kissing her legs (but not her genitals...at least at that point) and she asked me to give her oral which I did so she had a pretty strong orgasm.

Then I asked her to show me how to touch her breasts. I guess she felt very safe at that point and started kneading her breasts and showing me how she liked to be touched there, illustrating and explaining which she has never done.

Emerson is depressed

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Submitted by emerson on

Yesterday morning, I woke up and we snuggled and cuddled. I tried to get her sexually excited. She let me stimulate her vulva and clit a bit and I think if we had had more time she would have become into it. I didn't try to take or in any way, with either words, looks or anything. Then we got up.

It feels weird to just do this without taking it further but it is exactly the right thing to do. I can feel how right it is.

We interrupt this pattern to bring you -- Intercourse!

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Submitted by emerson on

In the morning we lay and snuggled and got a bit heated. I know she was turned on and would have had an orgasm if I had continued. To be honest I got her heated up with clitoral stimulation (bad boy).

I didn't say anything about having sex. I know she was wondering, looking at me, what is he up to? Why isn't he coming in or asking if he can?

It was one of the toughest things that I've done in bed -- but I didn't ask her or initiate intercourse. I had to be a real man by not fucking her and toughing it out.

A few thoughts on condoms

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Submitted by emerson on

We don't need condoms anymore but I used them throughout our earlier life when my partner was still worried about making babies...actually until only a few years ago. Note condom discussion here relates to disease free people using condoms for birth control only.

They were the bane of my sex life for a long time.

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