emerson's blog

♥Making sexy stuff, being there, and taking turns initiating whatever

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Submitted by emerson on

This would be Sparkle's day 15 post-O and good things happened for whatever reason.

I am more and more a believer in the passion cycle, at least for my wife. I've kept a detailed journal and although it is early days, I can see something to this for sure.

So anyway, she was in charge today. Up to her to initiate or not initiate. We are at the moment taking turns day by day.

She said she was much more comfortable today. I didn't pressure her today.

♥ How I will avoid being needy and still get what I want

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I'd become very needy and demanding since I quit masturbating and porn and started bonding behaviors with my wife.

I think the reason is that I want something.

That's always what it is, bottom line. You want something. So you try to get it.

I mean, it's kinda understandable. Surprisingly I'm not as eternally horny as I would have thought. We are doing a lot of daily bonding and that satiates my horniness to a great degree.

But there is something far deeper that I yearn for.

Will her sex drive increase?

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Submitted by emerson on

Sorry if I seem to be repeating myself but this is important and I appreciate your reading and commenting.

We are on post-O day 12 for Sparkles. Definite ripples...she had trouble sleeping and was especially unhappy with my lovie dubbie needy behavior today :)

She said, "you don't understand. I don't have much of a sex drive."

So we discussed. (I have been very upbeat and never shown a trace of frustration if she doesn't want to have sex with me although I am always ready. She admitted this.)

♥ We have (another) honest discussion

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Submitted by emerson on

Today I wasn't feeling well and I hung around. Sparkles hung around too. I fasted because that helps me get over being sick quicker.

This afternoon I was laying around and Sparkles joined me. I got quickly aroused and she said I could connect which I did. It felt great as always but we aren't really into the very satisfying territory in our intercourse.

And the reason is clear from what developed.

So after about 15 minutes we lay together. She told me that she wasn't really into it but didn't feel comfortable saying no to intercourse.

♥Getting in sync

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Submitted by emerson on

Tonight we had our second round of intercourse. Lay down to rest and one thing led to another. She initiated this time and then I could tell she was going to cum and I said, "don't cum" and that did not make her happy. I guess I screwed up. Shouldn't have said anything. My bad. She said she no longer felt like it and that I was controlling. And that she already feels funny that I don't orgasm.

We'll get there. It was nice she initiated. We are in day 10 from when she had her last O. Now I feel like a bum.

Thanks for reading.

♥ Sex on the Beach

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Submitted by emerson on

If you are old enough to order mixed drinks in a beachy restaurant perhaps you have seen the drink, Sex On The Beach.

Well, this isn't about that.

My wife and I are Karezza newbies and yesterday I wanted to report something really fun. We were holding hands on the beach and I could feel energy from her hands going into my body and I had this mini orgasm for a period just walking on the beach. It was pretty cool. I didn't have a full on erection but my penis was a bit full, nothing embarrassing and I wasn't in my mini Speedo either :P fortunately.

Why I no longer masturbate

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Submitted by emerson on

It's been maybe 60 days and I haven't once masturbated.

If you had asked me NOT to masturbate for 60 days in a row, anytime in the past, I would have said, are you NUTS?

Masturbation helped me go to sleep. It made me feel less like bothering my wife for sex she didn't want to have (you know, a woman with a weaker sex drive wink wink). Before marriage it made it far more manageable to be single and hardly ever be with a woman in any way.

But, it's been 60 days and I don't miss it at ALL.

♥ a really good day practicing Karezza

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Submitted by emerson on

What a sensational day so far.

We had a session of PIV towards the end of the day, second day in a row. Lasted longer than ever, about 35 minutes. My erections came and went and it was all fine.

She said it was better on an empty stomach (Dr. Bass had that right for SURE) and then she decided she was hungry and we snuggled a bit, plugged in for a few more minutes and then got up to make dinner.

And we really talked about stuff.

What ED taught me

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Submitted by emerson on

There is a peculiar effect that hides important stuff right under our nose. Someone points it out, and you can't believe how you didn't see this huge 800 pound gorilla that is right in front of you and has been all this time.

I have only begun to realize how in recent years I felt crappy about my sex life. (I'm in my early 50s and married about 25 years.)

First, sex to me was the same as ejaculating and the same as orgasm. Most of these happened with PMO, using pornographic stories that built images in my mind and let me live in a world of fantasy sex.

♥ (When?) Will she feel the same about me as I feel about her?

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Submitted by emerson on

Here's my simple question. I am absolutely crazy about Sparkles since we've been snuggling every day and I've gotten free from orgasm.

Will she feel that way about me?

I don't think she quite does.

She told me "I always feel close to you. Maybe I feel a little closer now" (since we've been doing these bonding behaviors stuff.)

Not that it really matters but I would love it if she begins to have the types of feelings I do these days.

So you Karezzites who have been in committed relationships for awhile...will she or won't she?

Thank you!