Karezza is working out great for both of us! We're approaching it as a set of guiding principles and improvising our way along. We're consciously performing lots of bonding behaviors and we see how it affects us positively on a primal, nurturing level.
My sweetie started asking questions last night that led into a short discussion about Karezza. I told her I had been taking a fresh look at it and found it has been working well for me and that I think it will be a great way for us to sustain a long-term physical relationship. I let her know I was initially worried that not having orgasms frequently would make me keyed up, but instead, I have felt calmer and been sleeping really well.
Last night we had a beautiful, relaxed session of nude canoodling (kissing and cuddling amorously). My wife commented how nice it was to have such an expanded range of lovemaking as opposed to just "off = no sex" or "on = we're having full-tilt sex".
I was amazed that I felt so calm in my core and didn't even get hard even though I felt very attracted to my wife and was immensely enjoying our warm, sensual connection. Just a short while ago what we shared last night would have seemed impossible to me.
It's been almost two years since my last post and I've evolved to the point where I have recently fully-embraced Karezza. I've experienced many twists and turns and bumps in the road to get to this point but Karezza is now my preferred approach simply because it works so much better for me than my previous orgasm-driven approach to sex.
I'm ready to try a karezza-style approach for 3 weeks. I'm not going to masturbate and I'm going to be laissez-faire regarding orgasms during lovemaking. I suffer from delayed ejaculation so that likely means I won't have any orgasms.
I also plan to practice a lot of bonding behaviors. My girlfriend and I really love these and they come easily to us.
Like many others on here I've been reading "The Brain That Changes Itself" and it's dramatically altered my thinking about delayed ejaculation. I'm starting to think my delayed ejaculation is caused by my wearing a deep neurological groove for specific forms of auto-stimulation. For example I've often used porn as a sexual outlet. This overstimulates the "let's screw" circuitry triggered by visual sexual stimulation and gives me a big erection when I might otherwise not really be in the mood. So I masturbate and have a nice orgasm and get a big rush of various feel-good brain chemicals.
Me: I hope I didn't make you late this morning with my evil web of enveloping snuggle-focused loving?
Her: Nah, I made it in on time anyway. But, boy, I was really enjoying the major snugglefest/snugglepalooza!
I've decided to stop taking Cialis. I've only been using it for a few months but it's quickly become such a crutch that it's a little scary letting go of it. After paying more attention to my body I'm convinced my erections are perfectly normal for a 48-year-old but with Cialis I am able to perform more like an on-demand sex-machine. That is *so* appealing to a lot of us middle-aged guys. We might have a paunch and be balding but who cares about that stuff when our penises can tell a completely different story.