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Submitted by Euphemism on
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It's been almost two years since my last post and I've evolved to the point where I have recently fully-embraced Karezza. I've experienced many twists and turns and bumps in the road to get to this point but Karezza is now my preferred approach simply because it works so much better for me than my previous orgasm-driven approach to sex.

I'm now focused on bonding, connection, and relaxing into many varieties of sensual pleasure with my wife (we married earlier this year) with no pressure to orgasm. Just paying close attention to her when she talks feels like making love. It's clear she can feel the love flowing from me and this starts a cycle where she is also radiating more love too.

I haven't told my wife that I've committed to Karezza but she can tell something has changed in a big and very welcome way. Thanks to me sharing this site with her she's well aware of the core principles and I'm sure she will put it together soon and figure out "hey, he's really doing this Karezza stuff full time now". In the meantime she keeps asking "are we doing enough for you" and I keep assuring her that all of my needs are being met by sharing such a deep, passionate connection with her.

I'm feeling more virile and potent than ever and she likes having the power to arouse me so easily at almost any time. This works for her because most of our interaction is centered on bonding and connection and she doesn't feel any pressure to escalate her affection into a full-blown sexual encounter. I think most women in a traditional sexual relationship feel they need to balance how and when they give various forms of affection for fear that it will lead to pressure to have sex when the timing isn't quite right for them. It's a big shift for my wife to be able to be much more affectionate with me with no fear that I will hungrily start driving toward sex and an orgasm.

For example, she can surprise me with a passionate kiss and know that I'm going to appreciate that experience just in itself with no expectation for more. The same works in reverse. She can relax into the experiences where I initiate affection because she knows I am just enjoying the moment with her. Nothing is implied other than my love for her in that place and time.

Our sexual repertoire has expanded to the point where it's much fuzzier what "having sex" means. This keeps our sex life endlessly fascinating and engaging since it's both intensely pleasurable and unpredictable.

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Thanks for posting

It's amazing what "removing The Goal" can do for lovemaking. Who would have thought that something so simple could produce such profound results?

What tips would you give other "karezzanauts?" I like to collect them in the Karezza Korner section.

Thank You

"Karezzanauts" is certainly fitting given this feels so much like uncharted, albeit comfortable, territory. I'll have to think more about tips but I do want to thank you for such a wonderful gift. Karezza is making a huge positive change in my life and I'm very appreciative to you and Gary and the others that are making this information accessible.

Interesting

We used to do that. There was so little sex in our life, that if she 'surprised me with a kiss' it would lead to exactly the pressure you describe, to escalate to sex. I even recall telling her once that if she wasnt prepared to go the whole way to not do it at all, it just drove me that crazy.

I still don't really feel she is all there yet, still quite locked down, but thank goodness for the 3 times a week schedule, it keeps us connected, me balanced, and thoughts and discussions like the above irrelevant.

She is slowly awakening, and mean time i find for every bit of hang up she has i have at least an equal bit. being with her through this journey she teaches me something new about myself almost every day.

Always nice to have another couple sharing here. Thank you.