Ongoing Success

Submitted by Euphemism on
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Karezza is working out great for both of us! We're approaching it as a set of guiding principles and improvising our way along. We're consciously performing lots of bonding behaviors and we see how it affects us positively on a primal, nurturing level.

Yesterday we flowed from alternating back massages to sensual connection to soothing genital massages to gentle intercourse. It was the first time we had an extended session where we were both knowingly applying Karezza in such a focused way. Once we become sexual I had a small bit of worrying as to whether what I was doing was enjoyable for her. As it turns out she loved everything. Even though neither of us had an orgasm we were both so relaxed after intercourse that we fell asleep nude with her resting her head on my chest.

Later that evening we had another bit of mild sensual play. That would not have happened if either of us had orgasmed earlier. I love how this style of relationship creates so much on-going affection and pleasure!

I'm especially seeing a big improvement in my neurochemical balance. I feel like I'm on an effective, yet natural, anti-depressant. Life seems more vibrant and alive. My head is clearer and my work is flowing better. I don't feel so driven anymore to stimulate myself and my improved understanding of the reward system is also guiding me to be gentle with myself.

I've been masturbating 2-4 times per week since my earliest memories. When I first stumbled across this work it sounded crazy to me to not pursue orgasms. I thought it would be a white-knuckles affair but now that I've stopped I feel relieved. It is clear I was flogging my poor sexual system like an overworked farm animal.

I'm solidly science-based and healthily skeptical so I don't say any of this lightly. I've struggled with cyclothymia, a milder but still serious form of bipolar, since my youth. I've used pharmaceuticals with varying degrees of success. I've also tried some herbals with zero success. What I'm experiencing is a pronounced, positive improvement in my outlook and mental functioning.

Cyclothymia sometimes goes away in middle age. This is wildly speculative but it does make me wonder if these reports are driven in part by some of these middle-aged people having fewer orgasms than in their youth. Cyclothymia is characterized by impaired ability to experience pleasure, fewer outright depressive episodes than other forms of bipolar, and a tendency toward hypomania. That sure sounds to my lay understanding like the results of an overworked reward system.

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This is such an important post

Many of the guys unhooking from porn are finding their depression and anxiety were related to chronic overconsumption. In effect, they had been diagnosed and treated for the wrong imbalance. Also, I've had a couple of bipolar friends remark that they notice much more level moods without climax in the mix.

It seems entirely possible that  the issues you're talking about could be far more widespread than anyone is considering. If there were some ancient Chinese Daoists around, they'd be nodding sagely and stroking their beards while gently pointing out that they reported these kinds of symptoms after too much orgasm thousands of years ago...and that frequent intercourse with infrequent climax was the most beneficial choice.

Human brains haven't changed, but our sexual environment has. And the people changing it didn't know enough about the effects of overconsumption on the brain  to make their loud, confident assurances that "there's no such thing as too much." There is. We've just been in denial about that as a culture.

That said, it was a fine experiment to overdo it on such a global scale. But it's time to accept that reality didn't match the theory. Wink For example, the research is finally starting to show that climax via masturbation isn't offering the same benefits as intercourse...which (although the researchers are slow to mention it) suggests that it may not be the climax that is what produces the benefits. Karezzanauts are discovering it's the closeness, energy exchange and...??? that does the trick instead. (Summary of research on masturbation vs. PVI: Costa.Masturbation.pdf)

Anyway, we're on the cutting edge of an important rediscovery here, folks. It's great having everyone's "findings."

And, above all, I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and better.