I'm rapidly hitting others point of blockage where they have shared much of what they are willing to share. This makes repeated interaction boring as there is little new. It makes it hard to really get to know people. I want to get behnd the high level stories of others' lives. Taking the positive view that these people are not boring, but are just stuck, what options might I try for getting others to open more? The blockages are not all the same and could be intellectual or emotional. I know some are slower to share than others, myself included.
Does anyone have any feedback to share regarding Human Awareness Institute (HAI) workshops: http://www.hai.org/index.html? There are far too many of these sort of things these days, but still finite energy in terms of times and money. I tried the free mini one, but I'm wondering about the ones that cost money.
Singles Connections looks interesting, but doesn't seem very active. http://www.hai.org/singles_events.html
I’ve been thinking about this as I try to process some feedback from others. I often feel my relationships, friend or more, male or female, are somewhat one-sided. At the same time, the other person and I often feel we don’t really know each other. There’s a sense of detachment. I’m willing to accept that this could be largely my doing. I’m just not sure how to untangle it. I’m good at making others feel valued and comfortable. Women can get excited, almost too excited, to meet me. That may or may not continue in person depending on the individual.
I heard an interesting tidbit today. Many of the PUA guys don’t want casual hookups, but want real relationships. Those that want casual sex are often not fully honest about their motivations. Focusing on the relationship seekers, it seems many are looking to use the women they pick up as a tool for their own self-growth, sadly measured by the number of women they sleep with. The name of the game is going through the motions and getting better in the process, but they measure that with their egos.
Setting aside the arguments that perhaps nothing is random, it seems romantic relationships are nothing more than a mutual choice based upon circumstances such as time, place, availability, etc. I don’t see how this is different than selecting a job, house, contractor, or anything else. Something about that doesn’t sit well given the wisdom traditions’ emphasis on soul mates, other halves, and so on. This is a little hard for me to get my head around having never been in a relationship where I wanted to be romantic.
I"ve noticed a pattern that I'm trying to understand. When I do something social that expands my range of experiences, it tends to push me toward addiction of whatever form. I don't quite understand this as the socializing should in theory sooth addictive tendencies. There are various possibilities including (1) lack of fulfillment, (2) over-stimulation, (3) triggering anxieties (4) going in with subconscious expectations and feeling let down, etc.
Like others here, some part of me is in awe of morning erections. But there is another side that has been there for as long as I can remember. In some ways, it is a nuisance. It can wake me up. It can make it impossible to urinate. I can be a unpleasant generally. It can be sexual trigger. I feel possessed.
I don’t generally blog about daily progress and failings. For what it is worth, I’ve gotten to 130 some odd days without PMO. That all fell apart, I think due to the need for physical pain relief at one point. I've got a theory that this is an evolved, legitimate use of orgasm. Anyway, once that abstinence barrier was gone, I got a little more experimental physically which might have led to some learning, but it’s hard to say for certain with my sneaky brain.
I’ve been hanging out here a year. . .longer if you count my early lurking time. I’ve made progress on the PMO front. I still get cravings from time to time, but overall, I seem to have it under control. Certainly porn is under control. That said, it could still go haywire fast. The pressure of life often has me in the gray area between learning and falling backwards. I'm well intended, but fighting old ways that die a slow death in accordance with years of habituation. It’s kind of weird to think of my old self and weird to see my old ways in actions now.
"Discipline is a matter of remembering what you want" ~ David Campbell