At times I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. The clarity of not being entranced by orgasm leaves me very unsettled. I question how I've gotten where I am, do I want to be here, where else should I be, etc. It's as if my entire world was dumped out on a table. I've got to put the pieces back in a way that is best for the new me. I'm guessing that others have/are experience this too. What can I do to methodically deal with these issues because otherwise it is overwhelming. I need a plan. There are simply too many thoughts running in my head at times lately.
[I hope this doesn’t double post. The first one didn’t get posted and I had to rewrite (probably less eloquently), but it seemed worthwhile, particularly after reading http://www.reuniting.info/node/4815 . I know the site has been having issues with double posts, page load times, pages loads timing out, etc. Or maybe it was just this silly user.]
I find it helpful at times to use visualizations. It gets me out of my cerebral thinking. I suppose the benefit varies by brain.
There seem to be separate "needs" to masturbate, have sex, and view porn. For the purpose of discussion, set aside porn which is most clearly not part of human history. What triggers the desire to masturbate? Have sex? Are they both purely reward based? Are they simply less addictive forms of porn with more upside? Is the urge to masturbate just a manifestation of an unmet sexual need? Or is my mind craving the neurochemicals? Why do monkeys masturbate? Why do young children masturbate? Neither have ever seen porn. Neither may have had sex.
I've noticed that not many libraries have Cupid or some of the other books referenced here. Censorship? Ignorance? Something else? These are not costly books so that is not the reason. Not enough popularity? Maybe, but I'm referring to major library systems like New York Public Library that don't buy books only on a popularity basis.
I know I can buy them, but I believe in libraries. I have only finite time to read and limited use for most books once read. Libraries are not actually free. We should use them as we've paid for them.
Forked from http://www.reuniting.info/node/4836 .
Very recently (actually, since my lovemaking experiences last weekend), I have had some thoughts about men and their innate, biological, spiritual need to be fully "accepted" (meaning, inside a welcoming vagina for extended periods of time) and to have that experience be one they can return to again and again with love and trust and with someone who loves all of them.
I went to a social event at a bar for a group I’m part of. We had a private area. I don’t like going to these events, but I went to be social and support the effort of the people who put it together. I could barely have a conversation and my throat hurts from competing with the loud speakers. I want to better understand what I'm clearly not getting about these events.
By: Paul Kix
(Oct. 12) -- There's something called The Challenge Hypothesis (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9698502), a theory about testosterone levels increasing when a person wins at something. It's a rather elegant idea, applicable to everything from evolutionary psychology to aggression in lizards to soccer fans in the U.K. And its results are so consistent that at this point it's not really a theory at all but more or less an accepted fact. You win -- directly or even just vicariously, after rooting for someone who wins -- and your testosterone count spikes.
Taking this all a few steps further to the point that we are balanced and developed at an age appropriate level, how do we make up for the lost years? I'm not thinking in terms of relationships or sex. In theory we have taken a different life path because of our little secret habits. We can't magically get back on track without lots of work. Without being regretful, what can we do? Maybe I can never be the person I could have been, but I'd like to do what I can to get there or someplace else more appropriate to the real me.
I've noticed I'm most vulnerable when tired. Anyway, I started to wonder if this porn phenomenon is one of those American products. One of our high quality exports. That led to curiosity which I still have about where all the porn is coming from and who is behind it all. Of course, such an inquiry led to some foreign sites and some porn, but no relapse. At first I couldn't even click the link from the search engine, but decided I must try. I could handle the outcome. Then, I couldn't look for more than a glance.