Danger Zone and Getting Out

Submitted by getmeout on
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\Thanks everyone. I'm undergoing the most difficult craving so far (Day 45/?). I'm powering through. If not for this blog and this site, I would have relapsed long ago. It not for the inspiring stories and fellow rebooters, I would not be here. I would have been back in porn. Today, I went to a dance club alone. Why? Because a chick dropped me and I'm doing everything possible to "get out". I didn't want sex or girls. I just needed to be out.

On the way back home I was tipsy and feeling low. I was walking the street and realized - in any other situation, I would have gone home and relapsed. Not tonight. Not ever. As I type this I have a craving, but I will not let up. I've been looking away from ads, tv, and other triggers for the past few days. My brain wants it, but no way no how. Suck it up brain!

This is the most important goal in my life right now. Not my career, not my love life, not a hobby. Nothing. Hear that? This addiction has destroyed me so now there is nothing more important than getting through this. Even as I'm in the depths of craving, fuck it - I'm not giving in. Even when I'm alone in this city with few friends. Fuck it, I'm in this. Even when the girl I was falling for deeply dumped me. Fuck it, I'm still in. When I'm at my lowest, I'm going through this.

Why?

Because of you guys - your stories, your struggles, your support.

And Marina - you are a blessed soul.

Peace.

Comments

Awesome!

To be at a low point like this and have the fighting spirit is a great sign! Anyone can talk about wanting to beat it when the going is good but it's a measure of your character when you can fight it at the toughest times.
It's great that it's your most important goal because when you are beating this addiction you will have more time and self esteem. Those other goals will start to fall into place then too.
Proud of you Getmeout!!!

Great post .... definetely

Great post .... definetely inspiring ..... And ur on day 44 homie ... How i kno? Bcuz im a day behind you (currently 43 days no pmo) and ivr been followin your posts for a min ... Not to sound like im stalkin ur post or nuttin lol

hahaha

that's awesome man. See? This is the kind of stuff that makes it helpful. Support. The first time I did this, I didn't have any support. Now I feel like I can actually do this right. Thanks man!

getmeout wrote:

[quote=getmeout] Today, I went to a dance club alone. [/quote]

Sorry to read about the girl. I am just as impressed by the above as I am your 'no fap' record!

You're doing brilliantly.

Get it!

Nice man. It's awesome that you're so resolved. I think I'm finally getting the point where I can stay strong for so many days. 45 is a ton to someone who has only made it 2 weeks :/

Keep it up!

2 weeks is a huge mile stone, if not the biggest one. It's the toughest to get through. The next is around day 22-25 (lots of people relapse here). Keep it up! Come here to reflect and analyze. After a while, as in my case, I feel it's better to stop blogging every day and just go live - the time passes by faster that way!

Being resolved is hard work. I've learned a lot to get here - check out this video and see what you think, another member here shared it with me and it has made a huge impact on my life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoTmNU_5A0

and especially: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjmIzORBOxA

Much better

Today has been great. I woke up feeling energetic. Something must be working too because yesterday. I went to three different coffee shops on one afternoon - not to "pick up on chicks", but to just be around them. A girl was checking me out at one of them. At another place, I was locking eyes alot. I still don't feel a need to talk or flirt, but for now I just want to be around them. I'm feeling a rise in the libido too. Hopefully things pick up.