Focus still cloudy. I'm constantly fighting a mental battle to face my fears, and to not shy away from a challenge. It's so hard. I'm dealing with fighting personal character flaws (giving up too soon/shying away from difficulties). I suffer from the "smart kid" syndome. I was told I was smart growing up. This has had negative effects. When I fail at something, I feel super worthless and I avoid the task thereafter by all means. I tend to create mountains out of molehills - and in the end, I'm not very productive. I probably need to start talking to someone. It's too difficult to measure what I'm doing while I'm in the driver's seat. Much too difficult. I'm thinking about seeing a therapists to talk things out.