28 No P/ 18 No MO
I woke feeling ok. Not very energetic today. Kind of just "meh". I thought I might be on the upswing, but I still have a way to go. I've been feeling more cravings for M I think. Last night, I came across a few sensual/sexy images. I noticed that they had an impact on me, and I started to feel a rush, like in my head. I quickly realized what was going on, and turned off the computer immediately. It's weird, I have a craving to "watch hot stuff", and not MO - like I'm craving the stimulation. Maybe because I've been noticing hot girls everywhere now, so that gets me going. Who knows.
I started to get more motivated when I realized that although the reboot will likely improve my motivation, I can't use it as an excuse not to work on things now! So, I'm here at a cafe putting the work in. I'm going for a workout in a bit, and then returning.
The other thing I've noticed is that it has been harder to focus. I keep thinking of the girl I'm seeing. I also think I'm just starting to need a "relief". I'm sure she and I will experience that soon enough. For now, I think working out will help things along. I've also noticed that I've been more inactive/on the computer. That does not help. For one, it over-stimulates me, and two, I just feel lame about myself when I'm off it - like, "what did I just spend hours on?
PS I know something is working though, because I find myself staring at a girl across the cafe who's wearing no makeup (not super hot by today's standards), and I'm getting turned on. So that's good news. Like, I can only see her top half and she's wearing a sweater that covers everything...but I'm finding her very, very attractive.
I woke up with the morning glory, so that's good as well. My erections are like 75-80% and only happen in the mornings. I still feel life in it throughout the day though - just not 100% turned on phenominal pitch a circus tent status. Hopefully that will come soon (no pun intended....yes, yes it was! haha).
I'm still seeing the girl. I feel good about it. I want to slow things down sexually. I want to get to know her/bond for a bit more.