As you can imagine I didn’t see big changes the first week. I’m sure of one thing, I didn’t experience a flatline. I had some hard erections so I assume that my levels of libido aren’t low. However, again I have no clear signs that my system is rewiring. Almost none of these erections were caused by a significant situation.
Otherwise, I suppose that this is a good signal anyway or at least it isn’t bad. Maybe, if I don’t release that tension by the usual ways (masturbating, edging, etc) my mind won’t have any choice other than finding new sources of dopamine, natural sources like real life partners.
Fortunately, I haven’t had serious problems in avoiding masturbating or fantasizing or edging. Of course there were situations worse than others but I think I did it fine.
The most important advice that I received this week was the idea of dealing with this problem with a partner or considering taking advantage of the benefits that a partner can give me. It sounds very logical indeed. First, I considered that I should walk this way alone but now I’m not sure if this is the best option. I have to admit that the idea of failing again doesn’t help but I think that I don’t have to put the focus on sex. I suppose that I can try finding someone that is supportive and comprehensive.
I suppose that I unconsciously avoided this choice because I tried to avoid all the responsibilities that a relationship brings. The idea of doing this alone sounds easier, it’s like you only answer for yourself and you don’t have to take into consideration anyone else. On the other side, I realized that it’s a bit “risky” to expect that if I do everything ok then by the deadline my problem will disappear, well maybe it does but maybe it doesn’t.
What do you think? Maybe looking for a partner is actually killing two birds with one stone. If I’m lucky I could find a nice girl and also I can test my progresses in a way that it’s probably the most accurate. Well, I don’t know if it will be that easy haha but I think that this is the next step.
P.S: let me know if there is something that you don't understand I will try to put it in another way.