Missing sex, touch, and masturbating to excess - time for a reboot

Submitted by intriqued on
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I said goodbye to my lover of one year with a very heated sex session. It triggered a chaser and I was masturbating to excess in the following days. I've been seeing friends (male and female) and staying with my sister down by the coast but every day this week I have masturbated 2 to 3 times and I've hardly got any work done. Working from home means I have to be self motivated and these masturbation slumps are a killer. I know working from home at a computer is a key factor of my prior PMO addiction.

The worrying thing is that each day I've said no more MO but I end up doing it and then feeling disappointed afterwards. I'm also consistently fantasising about my ex which can't be healthy. I don't want to fall back into my old ways and it feels putting on a porn video is such an easy step. I just can't go back to that after more than a year of quitting.

I know my masturbation and fantasies (lesbian porn where I was one of the girls - odd right?) take me away from the experience of real sex. Being consistently with a girl for the past year I've not needed them. Now they seem to of re-surfaced. I also know that I started meeting lots of girls when I was going without MO. I felt more open and I guess without being allowed to satisfy myself I had to chase the real thing. It also means that when I meet a girl I have my full sexual energy available rather than having depleted myself. I also don't want to have ED issues with the next girl.

Blogging kept me on track before, so I'm going to post here about my 30 day abstinence from MO.

I know I have a highly addictive personality. I thought that I was done but maybe my whole life will be battling against my vices; just given up smoking 'again', quitting MO 'again', cannabis 'again'...

As for her I miss her intensely. I really don't think I've felt this before. Saying goodbye when so deeply in love. I can't get her off my mind. All I want to do is hear her voice. See her smile. What's worse is that I know she is within reach. I however am a man of my words and am not going back on my decision. But I wish I was away now. Geographical distance would make this all a lot easier. Only 3 weeks to go. Damm love and relationships are powerful things!

Comments

Not surprising

as you did your best to burn up every dopamine receptor you both owned. Wink It takes time to recover from excess...especially if it continues.

I think you're right that if your brain was vulnerable to desensitization and other addiction-related changes the first time around, it will be that way in the future. It's your brain. Take good care of it. Protect its sensitivity.

There are ideas for putting the brakes on here:

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/i-relapsed-what-now

Also check out this page: RED X and the Cold water technique.

Back to basics!

*big hug*

 

my take on things

I rebooted also. Got away from porn, masturbation and hot sex completely. I don't know if you've read my blog posts and my situation isn't the same as yours in some ways. To me the real key is to have a partner you can spend time bonding with and have non-orgasmic sex with. Giving up hot sex was easy because this is so much better now than it's ever been in my entire adult life. Totally worth it!

Don't know if it's possible to date yet for you, and meet other women, but if it is, sooner the better maybe.

Sorry to hear about your

Sorry to hear about your relationship ending. You get hit with the double whammy of heartbreak and trying to battle this damn addiction at the same time. Don't worry though, one day you'll look back at this as just a learning experience and a memory, not good or bad, without the strong emotional response. That's just how life is, you'll get over it and be a better person for dealing with it and moving on.