Well, I'm halfway to 100 days, and over halfway to 90. During the past week, I would say starting on Tuesday or so, I got the super confidence back. I've been feeling pretty good this whole week really. Yesterday and today I have been a touch hung over so I can't say I feel that great about those days. But otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good. One other thing I noticed on Friday was that I started to get an erected in class because the girl who sits next to me was wearing those tight, black, exercise pants because she had just come from the gym.
It's day 46, and I'm still going strong. I'm working on a brief like a mad man so this is going to be short.
So, I never made it to posting today. But I will say that despite an enormous amount of stress, I'm feeling pretty good. Just in time for Valentines Day, I thin I'm on an upswing, which I guess you could say means I'm loving myself. =) Here's a link to History.com's page with videos about love. The one called the science of love talks about dopamine and how it affects our mood, etc. It's actually a really good video. You guys should check it out.
I found this as I was searching Google Scholar for more info on pornography. It's an interesting sample. I think I would like to read the whole book.
Today I woke up feeling really good. I don't know why. I felt really refreshed, like I had a great night of sleep. It almost felt like waking up on Saturday morning when you are about 9 years old, and wanting to watch cartoons. Maybe I'm just weird. Ha ha. I thought to myself, "today is going to be an up day" which was good because I am having a rough couple weeks. I will say that I felt pretty good today. The only thing is that this is probably the busiest two weeks of the semester, so I'm under a lot of stress. I think if it wasn't for that, I would have been in an even better mood.
Tonight I met my cousin up a the elk lodge north of where I live for a wild-game dinner that he invited me to a while back. It was all guys. And when I say guys, I mean blue collar, regular ol' Joe Schmoes who work hard everyday at various automobile assembly lines and factories, and in constructin, etc. We played cards, drank beer, and ate an AMAZING variety of wild game. These guys were telling dirty jokes, calling each other names, bragging, telling fish, hunting, and war stories, and lamenting things like the cost of drywall.
For anybody who is looking for some social interaction, this website looks really good to me. I recently went on and found the Michigan Adventurs Club where people organize all kinds of cool outdoor, camping, hiking, kayaking, trips. I joined the page so that the group would email me invites to activities they are setting up, and they seem to set up a lot of them. My only problem is the one I have had overall. That is, being stuck doing law school homework when I would much rather go out and play. Anyway, I would suggest it as a resource for any of you looking for some social opportunity.
Unfortunately, I have several deadlines over then next 7 days or so. I have been extremely stressed because of this. I get these eyelid twitches when I get very fatigued and stress, and the eyes have been twitching like crazy the last few days. Also, I noticed that I have been experiencing a lot of desire and fantasy lately. I think the stress and the sexual tension is related. I have been feeling a lot of pressure and urges just to have an orgasm. Mainly I've been thinking about having sex with my ex and how good it felt when it was going right.
I would have to rank today about a 4 or 5 out of 10. I am under a lot of stress to get work done and deadlines met lately, and there does not appear to be any real end in sight. Earlier I was experience some real craving. I'm still not all that tempted to view porn, but I do have a strong desire to experience orgasm during those times, and hence, and urge to masturbate. I don't allow myself to consider masturbation as a real option at this point though, so I am still hanging in there. It sure makes me wish I had a nice girlfriend to help relieve the pressure though!