I would have to rank today about a 4 or 5 out of 10. I am under a lot of stress to get work done and deadlines met lately, and there does not appear to be any real end in sight. Earlier I was experience some real craving. I'm still not all that tempted to view porn, but I do have a strong desire to experience orgasm during those times, and hence, and urge to masturbate. I don't allow myself to consider masturbation as a real option at this point though, so I am still hanging in there. It sure makes me wish I had a nice girlfriend to help relieve the pressure though! Speaking of that, I have noticed that when I do get the urge, I notice that the fantasies that pop into my head are generally of me. I would even say that they are more like a very heavy desire to have a real woman and my imagination of sex with her, as opposed to some nameless woman with a porn star body. Part of me wonders if this is my libido returning, but I'm still very hazy on how to differentiate a healthy libido from an unhealthy desire or compulsion.
Anyway, this post is short because I have a lot to do and I'm still working. Just wanted to write for my own therreputic reasons and to express my mood today. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow. I might watch a movie later if I can tear myself away from my work long enough.