I’ve still been hanging around – just haven’t posted in a while. Love this site.
Despite my best efforts over the last couple of years, Christine cannot (or will not) give me what I think I need from our relationship. I won’t go thru the details that are documented ad nauseam on my blog. I really like Christine. Sometimes, I even think I still love her. I don’t want to do anything to hurt her. I hate to see her cry. Besides, I’m a man of my word, and I promised …
So, we have reached a place that is working for us. I treat her like a goddess. I know pretty well by now what she wants in every area of her life, and I do my best to provide it to her. Thanks to meditation, I have learned to give without intent or expectation. More difficult is to do so without anger or resentment. I have learned to receive my pleasure from giving.
But I need more. What makes this work for me is to be polyamorous – to have (non-sexual) relationships of various degrees with multiple women. All with the knowledge of Christine. So I have been fortunate enough to assemble a company of other goddess to honor and serve. The most important ones:
Marianne is 70-something, divorced for 20 years and walks four miles every day at our gym. I join her for a couple of miles, a couple of times a week. She seems to enjoy my company. She has concluded that I am a non-traditional male, i.e., non-controlling. She is puzzled by men and likes to talk about the men in her life (current and ex-). I would like to get her views on how the concept karezza would work with people of our generation, but I am proceeding very cautiously – I don’t want her to think I am hitting on her. Our physical contact is limited to a high-five or fist-bump as we go our separate ways. I am honored to be in her presence.
Elizabeth is my yoga/meditation teacher. She has been vital in guiding me along a path to deeper meditation. Our classes are small – usually three or four students. As part of our concluding savasana, she usually gives each student a brief shoulder release – always thrilled at her touch, even for a few seconds. The yoga studio is a very special place. It is shared with a non-profit foundation focused on encouraging and empowering women globally and locally. It is housed in a wonderful old home, which I have adopted as the unofficial groundskeeper.
Paula is my barber. I’ve been going to her for ten or twelve years, ever since she started in this male-dominated profession. When I first saw her, I thought, “Get my hair cut by a young, attractive woman, or a stinky old guy? It’s a no-brainer.” So I have stayed with her, as she has changed shops three times. Paula is a devout Christian, her passion is belly dancing and she is a fairy-tale enthusiast. She thinks yoga is from the devil. We have some long, interesting discussions; to the displeasure of the guys who are waiting in line for a haircut. So I see her once every four or five weeks, but I always get a hug a Christmas. She is a blessing.
I am blessed by many earthly goddesses. And of course our cyber-goddesses: Marnia, Rachel, hotspring, Quizure and SnowyOwl.
So that’s how we’re working things out. It’s a little crazy and not what I would have chosen.
The spirit in me is grateful to be in the presence of the spirit in you.