One month!!!! It is great to be alive. I want to congratulate myself for this great achievement. It has been one month no PMO.
However, my performance was dampened on day 24 and day 29. Yesterday, I voluntarily stroke my dick, I knew I could stop it but I needed physical relief and enjoy this feeling again. This behaviour has been also caused by eating aioli and by fear of committing to finding business ideas. Of course, I did it while looking at celeb sexy parts (not nude) but sexy. I managed at the end to stop it and it didn’t go much further. Although it not good for my sexual diet and dopamine substitute, I do not take it as a failure as I know I was in control and I stopped when I wanted. I also did not binge (today I added back safari to surf for some porn but quickly removed it with the help of a friend so I did not touch myself)
Anyway, to sum up, I had two drawbacks during these 30 days. But it is a huge achievement compared to before where I couldn’t resist more than 1 day on average without fapping. Furthermore, I am in a good physical shape. My mood has been steady. I am more sociable but could get angry sometimes and isolated. I am more spiritual as I made connexion with God. I am more balanced in my way of talking. More open minded, more fun. I fear less. I still procrastinate as my fears are anchored deep down but now at least I know that I can tackle them correctly and consistently with a better state of mind. I sleep better and wake up early. I am not grumpy when I sleep 5-6 hours I eat better. My relation with everybody has improved. I am shaking myself to do things about my career. I don’t feel anxiety its more covered fear, procrastination and lack of drive.
What’s next? Well, continue with the same plan which aims to clear my mind, recover a great character and most importantly rebuild my desires
Meanwhile, be strict about no PMO, do not touch yourself, do not eat exciting food, apply the techniques to divert your sexual thoughts and find a job that will sustain your financial needs.