I slept till noon/ I guess I needed this and this is my new equilibrium of energy regained through sleep (meaning I did not sleep well when I masturbated). I felt happy and weird today. I am making jokes, I am proactive in programs, I feel calm but yet I am not focusing on my life nor on my plans, so its scary, it is like i am on vacation. It is like im letting myself go. I also am appreciating feelings like eating fruit or music or feeling the sun on my skin.