(Clarity) A few weeks ago I experienced new levels of sexual bliss. He and I had been interested in each other for a year, but live far apart. We only see each other at an annual conference. He knew about my sexual practice and researched and read up on it. We very quickly found ourselves in bed and I moved into his hotel room with him. Even with all the other things we had to do, we spent five hours in connection over the course of two days. We both found in each other someone who was willing to try things nobody else had ever wanted to explore. He said all his previous lovers complained that he took too long, went too slow. He works with chi as an acupuncturist and chi gong instructor, so he already had experience with intentionally circulating energy. He also was familiar from chinese medicine with the idea that excessive orgasm could be a problem, although he himself has a couple orgasms a week. With such a present, willing partner, I began to get a glimpse of what this sexual practice could be. The connection of our hearts and the openness we felt were so thrilling. I felt high and shiny, blissful. On the third day he could barely touch me without risking orgasm, he felt so overstimulated. We were both feeling constantly high and distracted from the work we had to do at the conference. He wanted to come, just to get some relief. I went along with the plan, and had my first orgasms in 10 1/2 months. It was as if my body had forgotten how. They were ok, but nothing like they used to be. Immediately, the spell was broken, we got up from bed and got on with things. It was an enormous relief from the high energy state we had been in. I didn't feel all that insane. The next day he reserved us a hot tub and we practiced until my body completely remembered how to have earth shattering orgasms. Afterwards, I found some things he did a little bit annoying, but he was so sweet, we enjoyed our last few hours together.
For the following two weeks I observed closely. I fully expected to feel insane. I didn't. A mild ripple, maybe. It didn't seem to have all that huge of an impact, though. On day 14 I was outrageously horny. That passed. Now I feel back to a calm state. Not the remarkable shift that happened when I first gave up orgasm. It's nice to know that I can have some orgasmic sex and have so little effect from it.
I heard from my previous lover after a long silence. The last time I saw him we spent over an hour in connection, wonderful meditative quiet sex. He has been soul searching and realizing that he didn't believe that he deserved to feel as good as he had felt with me. He has more growing to do, and I'm glad our lovemaking helped him along.
I went to a museum talk about some Tibetan Buddhist art pieces. I learned a little about tantric philosophy. The speaker described the various levels of meditation and I felt glad that I had finally glimpsed inside the inner sanctum. Yes, I've been in there! I know what he is talking about! Now, to spend more time in there...
I have been on okcupid for a month or two and going on a lot of dates. I put a link to this site on my profile, partly to let potential dates know what they are in for, and partly to spread the word, even to people who aren't interested in me. I've gotten several messages from men just thanking me for letting them know about it. I've met several interesting men on there and am seeing a few of them. One in particular, though, is especially exciting to me right now. He is so intrigued by my sexual practice that he has stopped having orgasms. He's gotten through a week so far and seems really invested in giving this a real try. He's actually enjoying the build up of energy from quitting orgasm, not annoyed with it at all. And, like me, he is someone who loves sex and sensuality and savors the idea of hours and hours of slow, quiet breathing together.