(Louie) Sexual energy is potent stuff. If you decide to retain semen then it is going to build up in your system. My kundalini syndrome [uncomfortable symptoms] happened because I was hoarding up sexual energy. There got to be too much of it in my system. It was literally cooking me from the inside. I learned from that experience that energy has to move. If you do not allow it to move in ways that are natural, then it will find unnatural ways to move.
It was karezza that completed the puzzle for me. I knew what semen retention could do. I knew that I could build up huge amounts of sexual energy very quickly if I wanted to. Karezza showed me how to move that energy within my marriage in ways that were highly beneficial for both me and my wife.
I used to think that sexual practices were about building up more and more energy.
Now I know that the energy is not meant to be hoarded. It is meant to be used or shared. I build up yang energy, and I pass some to my wife through karezza. She builds up yin and passes some to me. Neither of us is depleted by this process. Rather, we are balanced by it. The more often we are in loving contact with each other, the better the energy will flow and the better balanced we will both be.
The energy can also flow into other areas of your life (exercise, job, friendships, hobbies etc). If you over heat you can also let it go. You simply put your bare feat on the ground and will the excess energy to move into the ground. I am sure that sounds whacked to anyone who has not experienced it, but it works. The Earth is one big energy sink. People doing solo karezza should try that when they start to feel like the sexual energy is too much.
(Bianca) The glorousness, the bliss of emptiness is already here, hate to bring it up . . . So this bliss is available just by learning how to open to it. The ego doesn't have to get destroyed FIRST, it gets dissolved AS WE DO IT. It's happening right now, we're dying right now!
So by saying you will draw the line, I think you are challenging my basic premise that this form of lovemaking is essentially a spiritual endeavor, the point of which is always to help dissolve the ego (learn how to die) and open up to intrinsic wisdom, love, and emptiness that is the foundation of everything.
Apologies in advance for getting too technical or esoterical on you, but we might as well have a conversation in this forum at some point about the fact that this journey is not just about being more balanced and enjoying sex a bit more, avoiding more gender discord - but, by implication, the ability to completely and radically transform ourselves and through us, our world, through the act of making love. Now THAT'S a project, people. Forget the "project" of learning the technical skill of turning your wife's breasts on, just allow yourself to be totally turned on by her. I have a feeling this is what that stillness is about, and why it is so important. Because from the stillness emerges WHAT IS. And i think when we see in that stillness of what is, what emerges is a realizatino that we are creative, powerful, and intentional beings. The power to know that is a huge threat not only to our ego, but to the ego structures of our culture that have been built up around us not figuring that out.
This is not a government conspiracy theory I am bringking up. The dire news is that the situation is much more serious than even that!~ The universe, it seems, has conspired with a highly sophisticated and sensitive feedback loop system, to set up a scenario of ingenious and perfect design, which would allow human beings to go through lifetimes of ignorance and suffering in the hopes that through enough repetition and trial and error, we would actually realize that we have the option to Wake Up in Love. It is your birthright to have this choice, Sood. Sadly, almost all of us opt against it, time and time again. "Not today!" we say. As though we were too rational to bother being enlightened, as though the function of enlightenment were just a bit extreme, a little too far out there to be worth really considering as an option for yours truly.
Whether you continue to experiment with seeking to abstain from orgasm, even with the intention of deliberately deciding you will not most assuredly not give up your ego in the process, I give you a salute for at least admitting that you have the choice to make that decision. I just wonder what the implications of that choice are for how you will be able to open to the stillpoint that is karezza. (in an interesting way, learning to work with and identify sillpoints everywhere in life has helped me to go through the current transition I am with my business and my means of supporting myself. the universe quite nicely has brought my business to a near standstill, allowing me to 1) be fearful and cling to the old sense of self, or 2) radically transform into my greater desire to support myself as a bodyworker. This can only be done if I am able to recognize and use the wisdom of the stillpoint. My ability to even have the presence of mind to recognize the stillpoint and see that I am transforming myself so radically stems from spiritual practice. My sense of purpose and the very offering I make to the world is shifting so dramatically, that of course my very sense of my self must as well. The ability to make this shift and transition I believe, relies wholly upon the practices I am making a deliberate effort at cultivating: karezza, meditation, dance, and music. If I do make the shift and open to it, I will learn through it that stillness and trust in the world lead to much more coherent functioning and joy, whereas speed, fear, and mistrust do not).
And I'm not really trying to be critical here, because I'm just like you in that losing my ego is the LAST thing I want ~ naturally, since I identify my ego as being my SELF. I mean, I LOVE the ego! It's very useful at letting me stay irritable, selfish, and confused, if not outright miserable, manipulative, and whiney at times. And I mean, the ego is so RATIONAL, what would we do without it? It says, "Enlightenment sounds very grand and all, but look what you'd have to give up? I won't judge enlightenment, I just don't think its practical. Remaining miserable, going through another 13,000 years of domination, war, killing, rape, discord, is much more thrilling! Get's the blood pumping! Much more entertaining!"
I'm simply sharing with you my realization of the actual risks of really trying to practice karezza, in that is not so tempting because it holds that danger of losing the ego. I am just trying to suggest that my glimpses of the bliss, that came out of the stillpoint of karezza, suggest to me that our ego is not actually who we really are. It is associated with our physical body and our single life in this earthly realm, and so it is a key to being in human form. But it is not who we ultimately are. And I sense that when we can see through lovemaking that creating the space for who we really are to emerge is not ONLY a death, but SIMULTANEOUSLY an emergence of what was underlying the whole charade of pain, suffering, boredom, and exhaustion that the ego generates.
From the dynamic stillness, something emerges. A spark, the spark of our conception, the spark that is you, which is the spark of the universe making love to itself through you.
Who is it that said we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human one?
(sood) My reason for becoming interested in Karezza was partly pleasure oriented; but it was more a case of wanting to ensure my wife and I were able to 'become one' when making love, with more regularity and certainty, and also with greater depth and for longer periods. I wasn't particularly interested in overall harmony, as we're quite sparky personalities, and enjoy our differences. I simply wanted us to be able to put those differences aside and become one, any time we felt like it.
Another part of my belief system is that my wife and I are 'old friends'. We've met before and we'll meet again. We have distinct personalities but fit together, like two jigsaw pieces. Maybe there are other pieces to this jigsaw; maybe it's a two piece puzzle; maybe our two pieces form part of a limitless whole. I don't know. The more we take ourselves apart, and put ourselves together again, the more fulfilled I feel. That's enough for me to be going on with, this time around.
Possibly, the melding I'm seeking could be thought of as a form of ego annihilation. That depends on whether personality or individuality and ego are the same thing. I certainly don't feel like 'I' am dissolving. The way I would describe the experience is that 'I' - and hopefully 'she', become 'we'. We don't become formless, as I would imagine ego annihilists do; we take on a different, united form.