(emerson) I had inexplicable ED sometimes. First, with my GFs I would compensate by getting good at going down on them and delighting them and me with giving oral sex. But of course that doesn't replace intercourse and eventually I'd lose the girl.I got over this mostly when I first met a girl that I ended up marrying. I still have ED now and then for no particular reason but here is what helped me: The bottom line is to realize that "I" had no control over my penis at all. It would do what it did.
Karezza Korner's blog
We've been practicing non-orgasmic sex, but we still do regular foreplay often (although we have really cut back on oral sex). I feel that I would not be able to get wet, and ready for intercourse, if I'm not stimulated or "heated up" first. Is there a way around this? I don't want to have intercourse without being wet because it hurts, but at the same time I want to make sure we are not over-stimulating or heating ourselves up. Any suggestions?
(tornfromabook) We like to take deep breaths together when we stop moving. And sometimes there is a little giggling.
(wfk007) Practice, practice, practice. It took us a few times to really start to get it. After a while there are things that happen in karezza that are better than orgasm—which is a good incentive. There is an energy transfer that can be amazing. There is also a relaxation response I get sometimes which is better than meditation. But that has come from practicing (and what a terrible thing to have to do, lay naked with a beautiful women!)
(Rachel) The main thing I have to say is that once you and your lover learn to be present and conscious (with no external intruding thoughts), with your minds focused on your genitals and your bodily sensations, you will find there is no right or wrong way. Things will go the way they need to go and for as long as they need to go.
(gorl) QUESTION: If I get the message of Karezza correctly, orgasms during the first one or two years in a relationship are strong bonding factors. After that it gets messy with the prolactin-based behaviours that steers us towards separation. I'm wondering what should be the most proficient algorithm in a brand new relationship? How about forming a deep bond with the help of conventional sex for a year (play it safe:) ), then switch to karezza method? What do you think?
(Virgil) Once you develop a true understanding of the benefits of karezza, a paradigm shift occurs and you never quite look at the world with the same lens again. You come to realize that following the fertilization-driven genetic programming is what drives the extreme neurochemical cycling, and the resulting perception changes in how we see our partner and the world.
(Darryl) I know exactly what this question means from experience, but that memory is a very distant one. There isn't a bone in my body, (or a boner either, for that matter) that has even the slightest draw towards conventional orgasm/stimulation sex. And I don't say this from some "right" or "this is better" perspective. Karezza sex is simply way, way, way more pleasurable. For me there's no morality behind the choice to forgo orgasm; it's just plain delicious.
- My partner and I, using karezza and daily karezza-like naked snuggling (Power Cuddles), have gone from sex just twice a month, to sex at least every other day. And it doesn't last 10 minutes, it lasts from 1/2 hour, to an hour and 1/2 or more.