Kevin's blog

Reboot-deleted her number

Submitted by Kevin on

Just putting this in writing that I deleted a young woman's number last night-our texts have gotten increasingly loaded with sexual innuendo and I've become totally infatuated with a woman at work, 18 years younger than me. I am recently separated, but I simply do not want the highs and lows of chasing after a vixen.
I've been there and done that, and it hasn't worked out.

Fresh start---pride before the fall-Lord, it's hard to be humble, i get better looking everyday

Submitted by Kevin on

Well, I just had about 33-35 days of no PMO.
It went well, I was feeling really good, my work, athletic training, wit, and confidence were all on the upswing.
I also switched to a much better diet, and felt I was contributing more to my family and career, as well as my faith practice.

Day 12 no orgasm, but still driven to intrigue

Submitted by Kevin on

By intrigue I mean personal ads; others interested in my fetish.
Yesterday had a very serene day; red x'd any images, did my meditation, worked well, harmony at home.
Today went to work, and on the drive home I didn't red x some images that were coming to me, and lo, within minutes I'm pulling over to the side of the road and searching on iPhone for personal ad intrigue.
Went on for a couple of hours.
I think the core of this is self pity ( I didn't want to have to do work ) and not taking this as critically as I ought to.

Day 11--calmer. Red X working too

Submitted by Kevin on

Just checking in after being wound up and craving yesterday. First I have to say that so much of the material here and at YBOP is tremendous useful and practical. I find blogging here,and reading other people's blogs and topics rivals the allure of porn and m. I think it helps me connect to something bigger than me, which is what my addiction does too. But this is much healthier and happier.
I had a great night last night with family and an enjoyable day today too at work, with family, and socializing with neighbours.

Day ten--fetish hardest to surrender

Submitted by Kevin on

Hi all, day ten on a reboot, and having only intermittent success. Yesterday was a good day with wife and family, but today my pantyhose fetish is roaring and demands relief. That's the one thing I've never been able to give up, it has so much allure and power, like a religious talisman. It competes with my good nature, and wants to engulf me in satisfying that pleasure ( which because of the extremes it takes me could draw me to wander outside my marriage). Is there any hope here? A psychologist once told me that I would never overcome it and have to accept that side of me.

Day 4- wife not on board, I'm hoping to re-bond and re-boot

Submitted by Kevin on

Just checking in. It's been a pretty good week in terms of work, and feeling good, looking good.
My job winds down for the summer, which helps. But I'm feeling a lot better now that I've recommitted to the re-boot.
One thing: my partner's not on board. She was surprised to see me re-reading CPA, and made a comment.

Re-committing to reboot

Submitted by Kevin on

I'm recommitting to reboot and get attention back to karezza.
After a fairly successful year, the last month or two I've been especially vulnerable to porn, fetish, fantasy, and euphoric recall.
Obviously the masturbation too.
I don't know why it all came back; possibly because it's harder to get attention from my wife as she is willing, but our infant baby often needs attention just as we're about to get intimate.
Also, injury sidelined me from my passion for running, and then I also got ill.
I'm going to continue blogging and checking in here.

Two weeks

Submitted by Kevin on

Well, this is the longest me and my partner have gone without sex; the last time was extremely hot, was followed by a week of irritability, and the last week has been very peaceful around the house. We actually had a couple of minutes of intercourse yesterday which was odd because there was very little sensation; in fact I barely had an erection which was unusual for me.

Irritability with partner

Submitted by Kevin on

I haven't blogged in a while and I thought it might be a good idea.
I'm a little irritated, maybe disappointed in wife; may be a result of passion cycle, last sex with orgasm was a week ago.
I feel like she's not into cuddling or showing me the affection she used to.
There's even a hint of anger or storms brewing in the distance. She got really angry at me the other night, after a really nice day, when baby cried for two minutes because I didn't burp him completely, and I spend a lot of time caring for the baby too.

Pages