Inspiration in unlikely places

Submitted by Kevin on
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I had a talk with a young man, 17, that I work with yesterday ( I work with youth ).
Another colleague had been telling me for weeks that's have to hear his story, sou finally had a few minutes to talk to him.
So, this kid-who, by the way, is very magnetic, super funny, and a real leader among the kids, told me.
He has been dating three or four different girls a month since he was 14. They're all crazy about him. But here's the clincher -he doesn't have sex with them,fool around or anything. And believe me, he's not gay-he's masculine and virile. He then told me that he recently started dating a woman,and he's been dating her for two months. She asked him to have sex withher for her birthday, and he refused. So they broke up. From what the other guys say, the girls he dates are beauties. He doesn't fool around with them on principle ( maybe Christian or other) -he also does not look at porn or m.
I thanked him for sharing his inspiring story and told him that he is one in a thousand.
I also said to him that that's what the secret to his leadership and charm is,his courtly purity and conservation of sexual energy. I told him more kids should learn from him--look at the benefits- magnetism, energy, and a bevy of adoring females.

As for me, chugging along. Been tired all week since the relapse, but some gentle bonding with wife and baby is helping.
So grateful to be on this path. It can only get better.


Two thoughts here:

Two thoughts here:
1) This comment "..he's not gay-he's masculine and virile" makes no sense. Being gay and being masculine or virile are not mutuality exclusive. There are plenty of gay men that fit the stereotype of being masculine and plenty of straight men that do not.

2) I don't think you can compare a 17 year old who's apparently never had sex to a recovering PMO addict. This young man doesn't even seem to have long lasting relationships with women. Is that really what you're after?

I think you missed the point

I don't know if you've read Cupid or any of the sacred traditions... The point was the kid isn't wasting his vital energies, or putting women in a pedestal. He has integrity and boundaries. I'm 40 years old and in a happy marriage, I don't want what the kid has obviously, but I believe the reason he has so much energy is because he is intuitively practicing, in his own way, a modern day chivalry, which is obviously very attractive to many people, as evidenced by his popularity. A lot of guys into pmo are socially anxious; I know I for one have struggled with social anxiety and shame because of the addiction. He shows me that if I stay on this path of recovery, I'll experience greater social ease and happiness, which I've had very hopeful glimmers of in recent months.
And I know you can be gay, and masculine, I could have clarified that better, I said that because I thought some people might have thought he was like some gay men who have lots of female platonic friendships, and some women like hanging around them, in part because they feel 'safe'.