Re-committing to reboot

Submitted by Kevin on
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I'm recommitting to reboot and get attention back to karezza.
After a fairly successful year, the last month or two I've been especially vulnerable to porn, fetish, fantasy, and euphoric recall.
Obviously the masturbation too.
I don't know why it all came back; possibly because it's harder to get attention from my wife as she is willing, but our infant baby often needs attention just as we're about to get intimate.
Also, injury sidelined me from my passion for running, and then I also got ill.
I'm going to continue blogging and checking in here.

Comments

I'm sorry

but at the end of the day, it can be useful to slip back. You get a good look at the drawbacks of using. Now would be a good time to write down what those drawbacks are, so you can review when stress makes you forget them.

I think it's very hard on dads when a child enters the picture. Is there enough money in your budget to get a good therapeutic massage from a masseuse (not the happy ending kind Shok) every week? That might help ease the healthy ache for caring touch.

how long are you spending on bonding behaviors?

It is so easy to focus attention on the baby and away from the relationship.

If your wife isn't into this maybe it's good to have a talk about it and really commit to a lot of daily bonding.

This along with Karezza is what enabled me to give up masturbation and porn completely with little effort. I am a huge believer that bonding behaviors can help conquer *all* addictions.

Thanks--more symptoms; lack of passion and optimism

Thanks Marnia; Emerson

I also just want to check in with general malaise, feelings of defeat, paralysis at work, and lack of optimism and life goals. I'm at a friend's house right now, and he has a bucket list in his office (40 before 40) and it's amazing how many interesting goals he's achieved.
I literally have no goals beyond mere survival pay cheque to pay cheque.
Hopefully this will change as I reboot.
My wife is much more positive and she's been the driver of a lot of the positive events in our life.
I'm hoping I can rediscover my zest for life and be more happily productive like I've never really been before.
I need help though.

danger danger

comparing ourselves to others is a great danger. We can always find people less fortunate than ourselves as well as more fortunate. It is terrible to compare ourselves to others because then we just feel bad. 

What about bonding behaviors? They really solve a lot of the issues you mentioned, even though it isn't intuitive that they do. 

Danger

Good reminder ! Comparing is deadly and I've spent a lot of time doing that. My wife and I actually got into a heated talk about money tonight-- I get very upset that my colleagues have more 'toys' and less debt than me, and we make the same money...
I have to be cognizant of the deadliness of comparing, thanks
As for bonding, we sleep together, all play together and cuddle the baby together, and sometimes fool around in bed before I run off to work. I also touch her skin, her legs.
I'm going to ease no it a little more conscientiously now.
And stay away from the fantasy and looking around and allow my brain to settle.
Thanks again