was interesting. I went to bed around 9...woke up around midnight. Wife came to bed then...naked (I insisted on it). After a fairly long session of cunnilingus and other stimulation, she drifted off to sleep. I took her to a couple of "gentle" O's...trying very hard to NOT "slam her against the wall". I was extremely frustrated by my inability to become erect and simply could not get to sleep. I decided to throw a "hail Mary"...a.k.a. Viagra. I split a pill and took half of it...waited 20 minutes then worked up an erection and attempted to use it with her to no avail...I went soft immediately...didn't even wake her up. I usually suffer the side effects of Viagra of a stuffy nose and headache, which is why I split the pill. I took the other half of the pill for a total of 100mg and lie in bed wide awake for the next few hours. Medicines work very slowly for me...I absorb them very slowly. The sun started to come up, so I put a liberal amount of vasoline to use and worked up another erection. This time it held as I woke her up to PIV intercourse. I went ahead and O'd, as I was extremely frustrated...but it worked. She's a bit sore now, and sleeping on the couch. I feel much better, and even more hopeful than before.
I know that I am capable of erection without Viagra, but I needed the crutch to get over some emotional boundaries between us that make it difficult for me to remain aroused. She is understandably adamant about my sexual pleasure ONLY coming from her...but at the same time, she is unwilling/unable to take any significant effort at arousing me. I think of it a little like somebody taking an object and declaring it theirs, then putting it on a shelf. "Mine. You can't play with it, but I'm not going to either". Pretty frustrating.
My need/desire for sexual stimulation so far seems to exceed her ability/willingness to participate. We'll just have to see if we can reconcile our differences in this area.