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Variety Seeking Men and Paradigm Shifts

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2012 has been the year of the paradigm shift for me. Maybe it was the Venus transition. Or maybe that's all horse sh*t. Either way, I'll spare everyone further back story and get right to the point of my post.

I recently stumbled upon a website focused on "Men's Work" and read a phrase that triggered me. "It’s true that men are wired to seek variety. The mind says we need a fresh partner..."

A Realization of My Goals

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I was hit with this one thought this morning. I don't want to have great sex. I don't want to have what is commonly thought of as "sex" at all. I want to transcend it and become one with the soul of my lover - surrender to him and to love - and connect with the oneness that is the spirit of everything. The question is, is that just up to me? Or do I have to rely on him to figure these things out too? Is this something I can attain on my own? Or is he, and his state of mind, dependent on this as well?

A Little Poll

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For the men out there: Is the main fantasy in your life about having sex with as many novel women as possible? If so, do you believe this is a natural response, an exaggerated expression of sexuality, or one that is created from male bonding (which often includes latent homophobia that can be eased if a man expresses overt sexual interest in women) and the media's preoccupation with feminine beauty?

Hangovers?

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I've read CPA and understand the concepts of the orgasm hangover and the Coolidge Effect. Strange, I have not experienced either of those in my relationship since switching to non-goal driven, conscious love making. We still orgasm but neither of us seem to be experiencing ill effects. And as I mentioned, he has been able to change his style of orgasm to one that is more directed within instead of a dumping of energy without. If anything, we seem more into each other all the time.

An Attempt to Control Emotions

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If you've read my first post here you're probably familiar with some of my more emotional issues in regards to my relationship. Unfortunately, these issues seem pretty common in most relationships. Because I don't want to have a "normal" modern relationship, I began the process of learning and talking with my husband about various male behavior and the motivations behind that behavior. Lots of emotions came to the surface during that time but we eventually learned some pretty effective ways of communicating.

Had my IUD Removed Yesterday

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It had been causing some tolerable cramping - nothing too bad - for the past year and a half. It also gave me some skin issues so I was considering removing it. I was still on the fence until Saturday night. Hubby and I were getting rather wild and moving in positions that allowed a lot of deep penetration. All of a sudden it was like a fire in my belly with lots of cervical pain. We pulled apart and my stomach tightened as though I was in labor. It was awful and lasted most of the evening with one episode of waking up and screaming in agony.

Amazing Week and an Ejaculation Question

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So this last week something has clicked in my husband's head. And his penis. Wink It seems he's really begun to fully understand what is meant by "male authority" and "releasing Shakti" and other very tantra-centric ideas. We've been studying Barry Long and Diana Richardson together for a few months (I read more than he does and we talk together about it) and he's had what I can only describe as some kind of epiphany. It's amazing and full of sustained, satisfying pleasure.

Will Karezza Keep His Eyes From Wandering?

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What I'm wondering is that if avoiding sexual satiation will keep a man's eyes focused on his partner instead of all of the other women in the world that he seems to have been taught to ogle throughout his life? Those men out there who've been practicing Karezza, do you find this is your experience? Or has the way you see women not changed? Thanks in advance.