I've read CPA and understand the concepts of the orgasm hangover and the Coolidge Effect. Strange, I have not experienced either of those in my relationship since switching to non-goal driven, conscious love making. We still orgasm but neither of us seem to be experiencing ill effects. And as I mentioned, he has been able to change his style of orgasm to one that is more directed within instead of a dumping of energy without. If anything, we seem more into each other all the time. And my husband has never had the stereotypical reaction of rolling over with disinterest and sleepiness after orgasm. We cuddle, talk, etc. We're tired after but we also make love at the end of the day more often than not. And even when we fall asleep we do so touching, holding hands, etc. So, I'm wondering why this wouldn't effect us in the same way it seems to effect some others. Different levels of hormones? Higher levels of Oxytocin? Perhaps it will creep in on us eventually, but so far so good. Anyone else have similar experiences?
EDIT* I just had a thought. Because the drive for orgasm is an unconscious animalistic desire, could it be that orgasm brings out emotion we have yet to deal with - or yet to become conscious of? If we become aware and deal with these things on a real world level, understanding and having compassion for ourselves and our partners until all that is left is love - then perhaps orgasm can't have its hangover effect? Maybe all that comes about then is more love? And then if orgasm results in more emotion and more relationship struggle, we deal with that and make more room for love. Perhaps then orgasm has the power to force us into a state of emotion so we can no longer avoid dealing with the issues that can hinder the happiness of our relationships. Huh.
Little note: I'm certainly not trying to stir up a subversive pot here. Just thinking and learning as I go.