Karezza Causing Emotional Release

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Submitted by Louie on
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I would like to share something that happened on the weekend.

Sunday morning my wife and I had a very long cuddle session. We woke up early and cuddled for 2.5 hours until the kids got up. We were in a really good space. Lots of energy was flowing between us and we were really connected. When the kids arrived in our bed they had love showered on them from two parents who felt overflowing with love. It was awesome.

Then, around noon, everything turned on a dime. Both my wife and I felt very physically tired and we started sniping at each other. It was a very quick change. At noon we were both feeling great and by 2:00 we did not even want to be around each other. My wife accused me of waking her up too early, she pushed me away when I offered her a hug and then retreated to a room by herself for a while. She did not look happy. I was not too happy about her either. I was fine with her being in another room. That vibe lasted for most of Sunday.

I have done some reading since then and I have found that intense energetic experiences can cause suppressed emotional energy to surface for release. Some people experience this with meditation. After an especially blissful meditation session they may experience all kinds of negative energy that comes up from within them, causes them to feel miserable for no reason, and then passes. Afterward they feel as if a weight has been lifted from them. The same thing can happen with karezza.

My understanding is that healing activities like meditation and karezza can kick-off an eneregtic cleansing process. When that happens, emotional energy that is stored in a person's body will be shaken loose and then has to be cleared from the system. This can be experienced as physical tension, emotional tension or even uncomfortable movements of energy.

There is a good analogy about cleaning pipes. For many of us, our energetic system is clogged with lots of emotional garbage. This stuff is not necessarily moving. It just sits there like grime in a pipe constricting our energetic flow. Then something happens to knock some of this grime loose. It is now moving in the system and thus we feel crummy. However, it eventually flows out and we are left with a system that is cleaner and flowing more smoothly.

I think that my wife and I hit a new high in our relationship healing Sunday morning and this caused all kinds of resentment, blame and hard feelings between us that had been surpressed over the years to come up for release. It was uncomfortable to go through, especially after the way we had been feeling that morning, but it was ultimately good for us.

Today we are back to normal. That phase passed and we feel good about ourselves and our marriage again. In fact, it honestly does feel like a layer of tension that existed between us has fallen away.

I just thought I would throw that out there in case other people have similar confusing experiences. Amazing highs can cause confusing lows, but ultimately, it all contributes to an upward trend over time. The key to getting through the lows is to not fixate on them. Recognize what they are (conflicted energy being purged) and find ways to nurture yourself until the episode passes. Try not to introduce any new conflicted energy to the relationship at that time (ie. don't blame your spouse). Just let it pass on its own. Then you can enjoy the new lightness of being that follows.



Thanks for sharing that

I find it amazing to watch how the karezza healing process works. It's never the same (because the blocks and old resentments are never the same from couple to couple), but it's like a relentless tow truck. It absolutely does dissolve whatever it causing separation in the relationship if you just let it work and, as you are doing, be willing to let the dips go instead of buying into them.

I think this is normal in a lot of spiritual clearing work. I used to think of it as the "whiplash effect." That is, you make a big, much needed breakthrough in some area and suddenly an extreme blast of the old pattern returns. It's almost like an invitation to go right back into your old patterns. You have to do just what you did. Keep walking and let the illusion of the old reality dissolve.

The good news is that the whiplash often signals the end of a particular pattern. *fingers crossed*

I think You're Right Louie

I think that intense emotional highs can bring about a cleansing. I don't think it's all chemicals and such though. Or perhaps that's one way to explain it but I guess I think of it differently.

Being close to someone makes us vulnerable to getting hurt. Letting a wall fall down (even just for a moment) exposes our weaknesses. When we realize this (unconsciously) we put up new defenses. Once our fortress feels strong enough again, life as normal resumes. In my opinion (and it's just that really) is that maybe it's okay to rethink your sabbatical on talking with each other about your feelings. But the conversations need to be timed correctly, honest, open, and unguarded to actually have any benefit.

I also think this is why orgasms can trigger hangovers. I think they force us to deal with our deep seeded issues and heal. Loving relationships in general do this by mirroring our issues back to us and holding us accountable. I think that often a relationship can be a wonderful spiritual practice for both parties if they are willing.

another view

I've found that if we are very turned on for a period of time, without Karezza but just in cuddling, that the effects can resemble those of orgasm. It is when I get turned on cuddling over a day or two, or several hours, when it is liable to happen. If I can relax and not get an erection and not get turned on, it doesn't happen. That's been my experience pretty consistently. I guess it's similar or identical to edging in a way. 

For some reason it doesn't happen when we have Karezza for a long period of time. That doesn't cause the same neurochemical fallout that the turned-on-by-cuddling does.

Just my experience.

I have noticed that too

Just this morning I was cuddling my wife and I was getting too aroused. I had a hard erection. I willed myself to relax and then the energy chnaged. My breathing slowed down and my energy kind of smoothed out. It was much more comfortable that way.

I have read in various Taoist books that aroused sexual energy is very difficult to control. It just has too much energy. You have to stay away from that aroused state if you want to have a smooth experience.

However, I have been in that kind of aroused state many times without triggering a deep emotional purge. In fact, Sunday was the cuddle that triggered the purge and it was not aroused at all. On Sunday, I think it was the length and depth of the connection that triggered a purge. The energy of the experience had time to get into places within us that rarely get touched. That is how I see it.

totally agree

I totally agree with Louie's views, and mostly by personal experience with thinks like intense 'meditative' experiences, etc... And Karezaa looks like a quite powerful purifying process, so it's understandable that it will trigger the arousal of old locks and emotional patterns stored deep in us, and feel lighter when they pass.

Is one important thing to be mindful about, and as Louie very well did not confusing or relating it to other things.

yes I agree too!

Karezza does indeed draw out a lot of past stuff and help cleanse it. It can be traumatic sometimes.

I wasn't disagreeing with anything Louie wrote either. Just writing something that has been my experience that may or may not be relevant.

Only cuddling

Yes, it was only cuddling.

We woke up at 5:30 and I rolled over to her side of the bed to cuddle her. After that she went in and out of consciousness (dozing) but I was awake the whole time. We cuddled until 8:00 when the kids came in to wake us up.

We chnaged positions a few times. I cuddled her, then she cuddled me, then I cuddled her again. I find that the more relaxed we get, the less often we change positions.

Honestly, it did not feel like 2.5 hours. The time went by pretty fast.


Most of the time when we cuddle it is in the morning. I tend to wake up first and I lie quietly on my side of the bed until she is awake. As soon as we are both awake my wife will roll onto her left side so that we can cuddle.

I roll over so that I am spooning her from behind. sometimes I place my hand under her shirt. Sometimes I place it over her shirt (we always sleep with pyjamas on) and I cup her left breast lightly with my right hand.

We do not talk. I do not try to squeeze her, fondle her or otherwise arouse her. We just lie there together. In fact, she often dozes for a while.

When we first start to cuddle I feel my heart rate speed up and my skin become quite warm. I used to think that this was nervousness. I could not understand why I would be nervous cuddling. Now I know it is just energy gathering to move. Others are free to disbelieve if they want to. It is always easy to dismiss things that you have not experienced yourself. Once you have experienced it, you start to believe.

In any case, as we cuddle for the first 20 minutes or so I can feel warm energy leaving me and entering her. After a while I feel cool energy coming back. Then we become very relaxed. The longer that we cuddle, the more my wife becomes soft and receptive in my arms. If we did not have kids we would probably end up making love on some of those days. However, at 7:00 the alarm goes off and the day must begin.

We usually cuddle for 30 minutes to 1 hour depending on when we wake up.

This cuddling opens my wife up in a way that no amount of foreplay ever did. She gets more relaxed during cuddling then she has ever been when having sex. Eventually she will learn that she can have that same effect when making love as well. I am now sold on the idea that relaxation is the key to good love making, not arousal.


Today I am in the dog house. My daughter left one of the car windows open over night and it rained. I got told off on the phone this morning. Guess there will not be any cuddling today. LOL

Such things used to make me so upset. Now I just shrug.

Very fast

I talked to her about something unrelated a few minutes ago and there was no trace of any hostility. She was able to vent what she needed to vent and all is good again.

In the past something like this would have hung between us for days. Now it is just vent, forgive, move on.

That's what

we've noticed too. It's the best of both worlds. Partners don't have to walk around on egg shells trying to keep from hurting each other - they can say what they need to...and the friction evaporates almost immediately.