I have mentionned this in other threads, but I thought that I should add it to my blog as well. I have made the decision to quit masturbation entirely.
I started self pleasuring when I was about 14. During my teen years I did it multiple times a day. Even as recently as a year ago I was having orgasms on an almost daily basis.
last December I made the decision to cut way back on ejaculation. It has been a gradual process, but for the last three months I have averaged about 10-15 days between Os. However, I was still indulging in M without O every so often. I had it in my head that this would be good training for being aroused without needing to ejaculate. However, I think that it was actually counter-productive. Getting myself aroused, but not releasing the tension only caused my sexual energy to be tense. I would end up exercising too much or otherwise being high strung.
I recently listened to a Barry Long tape in which he made the statement that the only comfortable place for the penis to be erect is inside of the vagina. After hearing that I reflected a bit and realized that for the last few months I have been forcing erections to happen when I want to indulge in some M. I use fantasy to get things going. Thus, it is not a very natural thing to be doing.
So that was two major strikes against M. It makes me sexually tense and it requires me to use fantasy or other unnatural stimulation to force an erection.
The final strike was delivered by the cuddle therapy experiment. I think that I was using M as a way to self soothe. Imagining myself making love with my wife allowed me to feel some degree of closeness with her. However, our cuddling has now become such a deep and loving experience that M seems woefully inadequate in comparison. The fantasy cannot hold a candle to the real thing.
Three strikes and masturbation is out. I have curently not masturbated in any way for 11 days, which is the longest that I have gone since before puberty. I feel little desire at all to do it. I credit cuddling for that. I think that the desire for M was driven by tension, and cuddling makes all of the tension go away. No tension means no fuel for M.
Last night my wife was looking very good in her tight pants. I thought to myself "that is a nice image to take into some M tonight". Then I gave my head a shake. Get behind me dopamine! There will be no more fantacizing here! We prefer the real thing here. It was surprisingly easy to avoid that temptation.