Louie's blog

Slow Sex - The Book

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Submitted by Louie on

Last month I read CPA (Marnia's book).

Yesterday I started reading Slow Sex by Diana Richardson. I am only at chapter four, but I have already seen confirmation of many things that I have read elsewhere, and also picked up some new ideas. I think it will be a good read.

I have decided to be more mindful about eating and yoga practice. These are two things that I tend to rush through. If I can learn to slow down and enjoy eating more, then hopefully that will support slowing down and savouring all good things in life (like sex and exercise).

Middle of the night comfort cuddle

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Submitted by Louie on

Last night my son woke up at about 1:30 AM coughing. It was a wet cough. My wife was very worried because he has mild asthma and twice before we have had to rush him to the children's hospital due to an asthma attack in the night. After some discussion we decided that she would take him to the hospital just to be sure, and I would stay home with our other child.

Victim Mentality

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Submitted by Louie on

I re-read my last blog entry today, as well as all of the responses. and I realized that I was starting back down a path that I have walked too many times in the past few years. I am positioning myself as a helpless victim again. Sometimes I am a victim of an uncaring wife. Sometimes I am a victim of circumstance. The story changes, but the punch line is always the same. Always there is an excuse for why I cannot have the sex life that I want.

Turned Down Cold

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Submitted by Louie on

Last night I decided that there is no time like the present and told my wife that I would like to make love with her. The response was like having a bucket of cold water thrown on me. She snorted (honest she did) and said she was waaaay too tired and waaaay too sore for that. Then, without skipping a beat, she starting talking about something else and that was that. I have been turned down for sex many times over the course of our marriage, but this felt rather like a dismissal. Needless to say, my desire to make love with her evaporated very quickly.

Being a sexual pleaser

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Submitted by Louie on

I think that my biggest obstacle in karezza will be learning how to stop without giving my wife an orgasm

To put in bluntly, I am a sexual pleaser. When I make love with my wife I focus on giving her a wonderful experience. It becomes all about her having the big O so that I can feel that I was a good lover. Two years ago I self-diagnosed myself with the Nice Guy syndrome. Being a manically selfless lover is one of the most common traps for nice guys. It may be a challenge to overcome this.

My Great Experiment

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Submitted by Louie on

About 2 years ago I decided to launch an experiment to turn my marriage around. Karezza is the latest step in this process. This is the opening post of my blog so it will be long because I want to establish the background of what I am doing. If you do not have the patience to read this, go to the next post. It explains what I am actually doing.

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