Karezza and children

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I am curious to hear two things from the karezza couple here with child/children.

How much affection you show to your spouse in front of your child/children? Being in the love mood all the time do you hug, kiss and cuddle in front of them? We personally do that (of course gently) in front of our kids. We deem that demonstration of non sexual affection makes them feel secured and cared knowing their parents are still in love so much. Experts favour this view. i.e

https://www.pgeveryday.com/health-wellbeing/love-relationships/article/w...

Secondly, I am curious to know how you manage your karezza practice with kids around since now you are engaged in more frequent and lengthy lovemaking? Are they aware of your practice at all? Do you feel worried what they are thinking about?

I am looking for some feedback from the couples. Thank you.

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Seems like there is not much

Seems like there is not much karezza couples with child/children. I view that karezza is much more fitting to the married couples with children since karezza practitioners are to be in a long term relationships.

If my queries seem sensitive to anyone, I am really sorry for that.

Kids and Karezza

All I can say is when we had kids at home sex of any sort was well nigh impossible most of the time and when it was possible it had to be fitted into whatever time slot was available which was usually late evening when vigorous action followed by an explosive orgasm was a welcome way of ending the day and spiralling into a deep, restorative sleep.

Had I had any thought of trying Karezza then I would have given up on the grounds of there being far too little available time to make it worthwhile.

This is all based on my memory of those days of having a full house and little time or privacy. Maybe I am exaggerating but, seriously, nowadays my wife and I can do things together that would have been impossible then; and watching my kids with their kids now, I can't see how they have any time for a sex life at all, never mind one requiring extended periods of exclusive access to each other.

Non sexual kissing and cuddling is a different matter, of course. This can be fitted into even the busiest day, as it requires very little time, and, as you suggest, it must be very reassuring for children to see their parents being affectionate towards each other. We certainly did this, though probably not as much as we do now, simply because there are fewer demands on our attention these days.

Thank you for the response.

Thank you for the response.

You truly reminded me the old days of ours. We have been in karezza for about 4 years now and before that our lovemaking were an almost weekly affairs. The main reason wasn't that we didn't have the time. What I remember we used be tired and disinterested. I am not saying we have lots of time now but we do have the time on our own at bed time. Now we make love before sleep, go to sleep being connected and again make love after waking up everyday. I now experience the ebullience and intense attraction to my wife. But yes, at day time it's difficult to find enough time to engage into karezza. But whenever we get, we don't mind to have a short karezza session.

We didn't demonstrate much affection to each other before practicing karezza. But now things changed so much. I think things changed for good. We do kiss and hug each other uncountable times a day. And we show affection to our kids too. I think it's nice to be expressive inside family.

What I've noticed is that

practicing karezza seems to put you "in the flow," so that more things fit into the day without intense struggle. Not sure how that works. Maybe as intimacy becomes more appealing on a deep level, you see more opportunities for it. But honestly, it seems to extend beyond that.

Everyone's different

I remember being tired but not disinterested! It was more a question of frustration. On reflection, part of our problem wasn't so much time as timing. Now we have - relatively speaking - all the time in the world, it's become crystal clear neither I nor my wife would chose to make love in the evening, before sleeping. A cuddle, yes; but intercourse, no. As for early morning - forget it; our minds are somewhere else, entirely. Our favourite time for lovemaking is late afternoon, or mid morning. Neither of these was remotely possible when we had kids in the house and multiple demands on our time. Even nowadays, we have to structure our days to enable this to happen.

So I don't think the evening and morning connecting you describe would have worked for us. It is great that it does for you, because these are the two times of day when you can almost guarantee not being disturbed. Of course, at the time, we did make love then, but it was out of necessity rather than choice, and I think part of the reason for its relative brevity (which was the main motivation for my interest in Karezza) were the twin siren calls of sleep and the encroaching day.

Yes, everyone is different

We find before sleep and after sleep are best time for lovemaking. Yes, no disturbance is almost guaranteed. And it's the best way to start and end our days. Actually our favorite for lovemaking is the time before bed. Kid's are in the sleep and only me and my wife. :D We really love the weekend nights. We make love for hours usually that time. Last night I think we were awake for more than hours for sure. In the weekend if the kids are napping we do make love in the afternoon too. Today kids were napping. We closed the door and get just connected and went to nap too. We were sleepy. Feeling great after such a nice napping with my beloved. We had short karezza lovemaking in the late afternoon randomly. But the level of intimacy never get that deeper like night since we can't fully relax with some hesitance and alertness in the back of our mind. Usually me and my wife embrace and caress each other and sit for smooching for few minutes in the late afternoon. That's really feel very refreshing after all the stress the in the office and home for us. It enough to re-sense the closeness between us after being apart for more than 9 hours.

naps

I think it was parenting author Jim Fay who suggested that young children should be required to take naps and go to bed earlier than you do. They don't have to go to sleep, but they have to be quiet and not bother you. The reason is not because the children need the rest, but because YOU do!

Regardless of whether the kids take naps, you should be able to take naps yourself. You can explain to the kids that you don't want to be disturbed while taking a nap, except for life-threatening emergencies. The naps could become more frequent, and sometimes one parent might follow the other and join them in a nap.

If the kids are a bit older and you can trust them to not get in trouble as soon as you stop watching them, your bedroom door could start closing, and you could instruct them to knock and wait for you to invite them in before they open the door. That's a bit of common courtesy they need to learn anyway.

My wife hasn't been interested in daytime cuddling, especially during the times when we had kids in the house, so I haven't tried out those suggestions myself. But I remember I had to take an hour-long nap every afternoon until I was about 4 or 5 years old, and bedtime was 7:30PM until I was about 9 years old.

Thanks for the suggestion. We

Thanks for the suggestion. We do close the door during our intimate time. We didn't told them not to disturb us unless very emergency but they are learning that parents do need time on their own. So, bit interruptions are there sometimes if we engaged into karezza at day time. But things are getting better and they are learning to give us more privacy. And moreover, we know we have the time for us at bed time. I think sitting for the dinner early is important to have your family go for bed early. And we try to do that.

Will Your Children Even Notice?

My grandpa told my girlfriend and me recently that after we had kids we would need to use Vaseline when we had sex. My girlfriend was curious and asked, “If we don’t need it now, why would we need to use Vaseline after we have a baby?”

He said, “You put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out of the bedroom.” My girlfriend groaned and my grandma said not to laugh or he’ll tell another one.

I think locks on the door probably work better. My parents’ bedroom door has a lock on it, I am sure it was used. Even though we were taught respect of privacy from an early age I doubt my parents were taking any chances with being surprised.

Instead of naps in the afternoon my parents took a different approach, the three of us were in every sports program they could find. We had a swimming pool, we ran a cross country course though the local park, and took a mixed martial arts class. They decided three boys behaved better and slept better if they were exhausted. As a third generation American we still eat dinner Italian style at 8 p.m., even as a kid I never thought that was particularly late. When we went to bed we were out cold. I am certain my parents had plenty of time for whatever they wanted to do.

The point of that is just a different approach from CuriousFellow’s, but I doubt he had three fairly destructive boys in the house. If he did he would never have said “older and you can trust them to not get in trouble”—my mom still doesn’t trust us not to get into trouble and we’re adults.

I am not sure how much young children really pay attention to their parents’ public displays of affection as long as they are subtle. If there was yelling and fighting that they would notice. Kids are pretty self centered little creatures and they are mostly concerned with what is in it for them. Once you hit puberty and understand sex, actually I may still not understand sex, the thought of your parents doing it just seems a little gross. My girlfriend’s Freudian comments of the son challenging the father because of his attraction to his mother aside, thinking about your parents and any kind of sex seems a little creepy. Someone awhile back wrote about giving their kids, early twenties, Marnia’s book. Their children seemed somewhat uncomfortable discussing Karezza—but I am sure they read it privately.

It would be interesting for parents with preteen and teen children to see how they react when the parents ratchet up the PDA’s a little. Mostly I think they would be uncomfortable.

We don't want to take the risk

No, we don't take the risk of keeping door unlocked and rely solely on them. Though we have also taught them the respect of privacy but we think it's the best to take precaution by ourselves. I do think their attitude to PDA will depend on various aspects like how the kids are raised by parents, how is their relation with kids and how far the parents go with their affection etc... Though me and my wife didn't use to demonstrate that much intimacy that we show now but we used to do that a bit. I and my wife were both virgins and each other's first love. We always had the great deal of love and intimacy among us. Karezza intensified it much more and learned us how to stay in the mood to express love all the time. More ever, we have very friendly relationship with our kids. They love our company and we do of course. And we express our affection to them too. Everyday when I go out for office with my kids to drop them in their schools, my wife kiss them in their foreheads and checks. She bids me good bye too with couple of kisses in my lips too. They are used to it and they call it "mommy-daddy kiss". We cuddle with them in the evening while watching TV and my wife and I share gentle kisses too during. Its all about showing intimacy and love, nothing sexual. I think they actually like it and feel the sense of security and caring through it. But, nudity and sex is a different thing and we always do it inside our room with our door locked. Yes, seeing and thinking of parents making love seems gross to them and we don't want to make them gross out with any intention.