I don’t really care much about sex. It is not high on my list of relationship priorities. But I do care about you. I care about the softness of my touch and the depth of our connection. I care about bonding. Slow heartbeats quietly in sync, our foreheads pressed together, the tips of our noses brushing up against one another and our eyes locked in mutual adoration. This is the kind of loving that calls to me.
I don’t need fast paced. I don’t want tense and stimulating. I don’t seek that kind of pleasure, i seek a window into your soul. Quiet appreciation. I want to see you deeply and I want to be seen deeply. Genuinely, with compassion.
I don’t want to be fixated on “getting off”. I don’t like that type of sexuality. It is shallow loving. Pleasure seeking. In the midst of all of the rough handling and moaning we’d begin to lose each other. It turns into something else, more like a drug in the way it effects us. It makes us selfish. We end up using each others bodies as a pleasure fix. No, I don’t want that.
When we do have sex let’s not focus on intense stimulation or orgasm. Why do I want you in this way? Because there is no end to this kind of love. We are not racing to a finish just to roll over, exhausted and suddenly distant. I’d rather be able to hold you all night. I want to stay inside of you for hours. We don’t even need to move. The fire inside our hearts will build up sturdy this way.
Maybe I’m an outlier for wanting this kind of intimacy, but i think this is how we are meant to love.