"Slow Sex" Film

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Often people ask about resources for introducing a partner to the karezza-style sex concept. This film is an excellent tool for the purpose.

The most powerful part is the couples describing their experiences with both conventional sex and the non-orgasm-focused approach. They are all so natural and genuine. It is clear their feelings for each other are warm, playful, sane and sustainable.

It was also fun to hear them describing the same discoveries we have made over the years. Gary and I found ourselves smiling and nodding in agreement at many places.

The filmmaker did a good job of making the film beautiful and sensual with a minimum of erotic imagery.

Although it is based on the work of Diana Richardson, there is no mention of tantra, and the film seems like it would be a good tool for introducing a partner to the concept with a minimum of resistance.

The same DVD has both a German and an English version. I'm encouraging Diana to have the producer make the film available for viewing for a small fee via Amazon or some other service, as it is rather expensive to purchase outright.

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The first part of the trailer was shot after shot of over the top suggestive, racey close-ups of young women, including the close-up of the lacy butt/crotch shot they held longer than the others shots. There are other ways of visually making the point about that stuff being in our face everywhere in society besides being one more source of it in our face. Only two or three shots like that are needed for breeder-sex stimulation to arise in more than one man I know. I hope to watch it but am disappointed in that and don't feel very motivated to share it with guys.

Love this film

I just wanted to say, I bought this for a friend for his birthday last year and we watched it together. It was one of the most moving films I have seen about sexuality. The couples just looked so beautiful and so peaceful. Their eyes were absolutely radiant and you could see the benefits that the slow sex was clearly having on them. And I thought the personal touch gained from them talking their experiences, just really brought the message home. It was very inspiring, and wasn't adulterated by sexualisation at all. I thought the film makes the concepts much more approachable to a wider audience.

It was such a good complement to her book, Slow Sex, which I also loved. It was such a great complement to your own book CPA, Marnia.

Great suggestion for her to make it available online - it was very expensive to purchase, especially factoring international postage.

I really appreciated the information about feelings.

I really appreciated the information about feelings. There has been so much misguided information about sex passed out over the years that people forget that there is such a thing as love and feelings associated with sex. Karezza helps to bring feeling and love back into sex and satisfaction is bound to follow. The people interviewed struck me as being content, both with one another as partners and content within themselves. The love between these couples was palpable. This was a very enjoyable and informative movie and tasteful to boot.

This is a fabulous film. I

This is a fabulous film. I think it is very valuable in that it portrays many couples who have made a meaningful switch in their way of making love, and this is far more rewarding than listening to a sex therapist or sex expert tell you how to make love. The real-life couples sharing openly and honestly is great - I think it makes the material easier to receive as valid when your partner hears it from the voice of their own sex. Both men and women will be able to relate to this film.

Especially as a young couple, I think hearing from older couples is important too. Everyone thinks that they will avoid the trap of their sex life becoming boring or painful, yet the same dynamics befall men and women who truly love one another. It is great to know there is another option, even if it takes awhile to adopt that option and make a turnaround. The more films like this that make valid more conscious and loving options in lovemaking, the better.

Exquisite loving today!

Exquisite loving today!

I will add that watching this film with my husband seems to have really changed his lovemaking over the past week. He has been much slower, much more focused on my breasts, is making a lot more eye contact. I think he really needed to hear this stuff from someone besides me. It's a pretty miraculous shift, actually. The shift is probably enhanced by the information from our midwife that the kind of energy that went into getting us pregnant is the most likely to help get the baby out. So, we are preparing in intimacy for the birth of our first child, and lots of making out, nipple nuzzling, and slow relaxing intimacy is what gets the oxytocin flowing, so this is all sort of birth foreplay.

My husband wants a smooth birth and I think it is dawning on him on an even deeper level than ever before that approaching me in the way that makes me the most comfortable and relaxed is what will provide the best mutual outcome for all, whether that is sex or birth, because sex happens in my body and the baby will come out of my body.

I remember when a good friend of mine, a doula, said that couples can help facilitate a birth through eroticism and lovemaking and this really surprised me. I could see making out but couldn't really visualize making love around labor time. Now I can. I also couldn't imagine my husband wanting to make love at the time of labor or birth or associating birth with sexuality, and now I can see that he's not averse to this. Men love to feel like they are important and/or a key part of any process, and I think a lot of men feel like a third wheel at a birth. Now, his job is to not only fill the birth tub and make good food and be someone to lean on, but also, potentially, if I'm feeling that way, to be my lover and be the key to opening up completely to the process of birth.

Again, I'm not sure we would have gotten to this place without this film to prod him into a more wakeful sense of the possibilities in this form of loving.


Eventually I'll send Diana a link to this thread, and I'm sure she'll enjoy everyone's responses.

Men *are* important. A number of cultures even believe that semen "feeds" the embryo during pregnancy. Perhaps at an energetic level their "nourishment" is indeed beneficial.

I enjoyed it

Yes, I liked this film too. Some of it was presenting some of the ideas in Marnia's book. But there was some other info as well. I liked the section on Slow Vision - which resonated with me since I've experimented with Natural vision care.

Also, I liked some of the diagrams - they helped me visualize the process of polarity of men and women's bodies, and circulating sexual energy within our own body.

A nice introduction/sales pitch for slow sex. Hope people in the States see it.

Loved it

Just finished watching it and I loved it~~

I tried to watch it as if I had never heard of this concept, but it was so hard to do since I've inhaled every bit of Diana's work~~but I really think this movie would resonate very well with those who had never considered this way of making love.

She does a fantastic job of making it real...I think most people can relate to the difficulties couples face when it comes to keeping sex fresh and fun. The couples describe how they started to go into lockdown mode (*so* common!) and how they were able to find their way out through slow sex. They were spot on as they talked about how the woman feels the need to entertain the man, keep him interested, be sexy, etc., and how that becomes exhausting. YES. And when the men talked about having "steps" to lovemaking (the "repertoire" you see mentioned so often which makes me wince because it gets old so fast!)~~and also about how hard and stressful it is on them to try to maintain an erection! Just makes you realize how silly the whole process *normally * is and how different it is from what it can be when you practice it with consciousness.

There were a few times where I got tears in my eyes listening to the couples talk and I was thinking, "yes, yes, yes." Also, Diana has such a soothing, healing way of speaking that you want to listen forever. She is so wise and gets right to the heart of things. I loved when she talked about how miraculous the penis is and how a woman should touch her man's penis whenever she gets a chance just to show appreciation~~I do it all the time and it doesn't have to be stimulating, just comforting, and I know it is much appreciated.

I'm hoping this movie would pique someone's interest enough to want to delve deeper and read her books. She only touches on the woman and her breasts briefly, but her books give so much more direction. My experience has been that they really are the entryway to my heart (and to my passion).

I loved the couple that talked about being in their emotions as "I am emo" lol! I have a feeling I'm going to be using that term now! It's so good that she brought up this aspect of being human and the little book she wrote pertaining to feelings vs. emotions has helped me so much. It is very freeing to be able to look at it when it's happening and label it for what it is rather than internalize it. Get it out and move on! And hopefully, be free from it forever. And the laughing that can happen during lovemaking when these emotions are being moved out~~so true! And it feels *so* good.

The movie is beautiful and touching and well done. I really hope she can find a way to market it through Amazon, etc., because I think it would make a beautiful wedding gift, anniversary gift, etc. Rarely can you give something that could change someone's life so dramatically, but this is one of those things. It's done tastefully and I wouldn't hesitate to give it to someone as a gift.

Thanks, Marnia, for sharing!

"Slow Sex" won a film award!

Diana just wrote:

Regarding the award we received from the Cosmic Cine Festival of Germany for the "Slow Sex" film.....

There were two awards...the Jury Award and the Public Award. 100 films were submitted and from that 18 nominations were made. The film festival then travelled to five major cities in Germany and Switzerland showing the nominated films

Thereafter, the public had the opportunity to vote online for the 'public' award...and "Slow Sex" had the highest count.

So, that is truly tremendous that the public felt moved and touched by the film. Apparently "Slow Sex" also had the biggest audiences. We were told that after each showing the mood of the audience was incredibly good and people uplifted. All that is encouraging in the sense that it reflects the 'need' of the people to see something more insightful about sex than the 'usual'.

I'm sure many were expecting

something other than what they actually saw. Even though they may have been surprised by the actual content, I'm not surprised that those that watched enjoyed the film as much as I did. Such a warm, uplifting, and encouraging film.

A great tool

I just watched this film and want to add my praise. I have been looking for ways to share material on this subject with my wife, and this film is it. It is very real and down to Earth, made for a wide audience of everyday people. The people are genuine and relatable and there is little mention of spirituality or eastern traditions. At one point she mentions "ancient Chinese and Indian literature", but that is as far as she goes. This is good for me because my wife is very uncomfortable talking about sex or exploring new ideas, so little phrases like tantra or karezza could be real stumbling blocks.

It also feels very manageable, like the changes they are suggesting are no big deal. They don't even mention the idea of holding back from orgasm until well into the film. It does not feel like anything radical. They have pretty much convinced you before they throw in any of the ideas that are a little more unconventional.

Cupid's Poisoned Arrow convinced me and I think has given a very great foundation of why I want to try karezza, but this film is what I think will resonate with my wife. If only it was a little easier to watch in the US!

in my experience the best tool is one you already have

pun totally intended, lol!

Talk is vastly over rated. I just told my wife "I'm not going to come this time," and she was shocked but we were already having sex and after a time or two of saying the same thing, we had a few discussions but I basically said, "I'm trying this for awhile."

My mistake was trying to pressure her.

I have learned that the best way is just to be who we want to be. Our partner will follow us in her own way on her own time. Especially if she isn't perceiving that you are trying to pressure her.

If I had gotten this lesson into my thick head earlier it would have avoided quite a lot of angst.

I also found out my wife doesn't have a strong sex drive and doesn't feel the same way I do about sex and may never. But we have a lot of great sex every other day or every day, far more than ever before, and I feel more pleasure and connection than ever before.

I feel so wonderful about her and my life now. Sometimes I feel "why can't she feel the way I do?" but you know what, I'm so blessed with a wife that is perfect for me and this is part of her perfection. And that is part of this too -- feeling so grateful for your partner and what she is and who she is, without trying to nudge her into a new direction simply because you think it's rigtht at this time. Maybe it's not right for her, or maybe not now.

My wife has orgasms sometimes, and I help her along. If she does or doesn't, isn't really my business though. I try to help her do whatever she wishes and often she's going along with me and I'm grateful she does.


Those are some very good

Those are some very good points. I think you are right that I need to use less words for the time being and lead with actions.

I do think that, especially for people with sexual trauma, it is important to be on the same page. For us, sex is full of triggers to past trauma. If I do something without her knowing and being comfortable with it there is the potential for more harm.

I think I am going to keep the conversations casual right now, the video would add a lot of pressure. Maybe the time will be right to share it down the road.