Hello friendly Karezza folks!
I am new to this community and read "Peace Between the sheets" just this past month! It blew my mind! I am a Yin who delights in sex with Yang! So much of the separation behaviour Marnia described was familiar to me. I know that orgasm addiction/attachment has been an important source of intense conflict in my relationships. I was inspired and decided to stop masturbating to see if I felt any different (from 3 - 4 times a week). I was asked out three times in one week my virtual strangers! I also felt more energized, focused, and my emotions stabilized in a major way after about a week and a half. I also had the most pain-free menstrual cycle in years, which was an incredible blessing, as typically the pain can be debilitating. Coincidentally, my sweetheart spent the month also reducing his masturbation frequency (without my knowledge!) in preparation for a spiritual ceremony he was undertaking. We had two weeks of incredibly blissful snuggling, gentle lovemaking, and beautiful magnetism.
His spiritual ceremony completed and consequently him beginning to masturbate again, and my attempt to masturbate without orgasm (HA!) has it so that we're feeling distance and bothered by each other. We had a beautiful taste of incredible relationship harmony. I know for myself I want to continue living without orgasm and in more balance, as the benefits were really remarkable. I am also deeply yearning to experiment with sex without orgasm with my sweetheart. I need a lot of very specific attention (usually oral) to come, so abstaining is not much of a problem for me. My issue is that I am not sure how to suggest this new way of managing our sexual energy to my boyfriend. My boyfriend is quite independent and strong-willed. I also sense in him and myself a block in exploring the spiritual nature of sex. I have the sense that he might feel really scared and resentful to give up ejaculating. We both deeply care about respecting each others' autonomy and not controlling each other. I am not sure how to suggest to him "how about you stop having this experience you really enjoy (orgasm), and make love like this?". I would feel so uncomfortable asking him not to come.
I am looking for some advice on how to bring more tenderness and less chaos into our lovemaking. My partner doesn't have an independent interest in Karezza. I have given him "peace between the sheets" and asked him to read it, but he doesn't seem keen. I want to come from a place of compassion and gentleness as I love him very deeply. Please help! :)