First let me give a bit of background. My wife and I have been married for nearly 40 years and so are just a few years past the 60 mark. We’ve always had a good sex life, but over the last few years I’ve begun to find it difficult to reach a climax/ ejaculate with any certainty and also had difficulty maintaining erections. The doctor prescribed various versions of the world famous blue pill didn’t really solve that problem and also made me feel lousy so I gave these up pretty quickly.
I often felt quite depressed about making love because of these problems and always felt under pressure (from myself I’d add) and then disappointed when things went wrong. In fact I’d begun to feel that I wanted to stop making love as I’d feel so frustrated in every sense of the word. My wife, thankfully, was very supportive and never said anything to upset me further.
Then I came across the Reuniting website, read everything on it, bought Marnia’s book and “discovered” that so many people seem to find sexual contentment using the Karezza method. I talked with my wife about whether we should try it. The result was about a year ago we embarked upon our Karezza style love-making journey.
We both agreed that we’d take the elements of it that we thought would work for us – lots of cuddles, kisses and frequent intercourse. From having unsatisfactory sex about twice a week we’ve moved on to having intercourse every other day. One of the most interesting things is that in this year my wife hasn’t once said she didn’t want to make love when I’ve suggested it.
We decided that we weren’t going to avoid have an orgasm (in her case) or ejaculating in my case. If either of us had one because we were particularly in the mood, or it just happened anyway, then that would be fine. We also changed the way we made love. We undress is each other slowly with lots of kisses but when we lie down we keep our pants on and touch each other’s genitals through the material – just like we did before we married!! When we’ve had enough of this my wife will ask if I want to come into her – I always do!
My wife will sometimes have an orgasm this way (probably about 1 in 3 times we make love) but what’s noticeable is how much more relaxed it feels and although they can be very strong there’s not the frantic feeling that there used to be. She tells me that they are also much more enjoyable.
What have I discovered? Firstly, my occasional erection problems (which have almost disappeared) don’t seem to matter now as I’ve discovered that I can enter her when only slightly erect and then become hard and I will always stay hard enough to carry on gentle intercourse.
Sometimes even when I move slowly I feel the “excitement” building up but it usually stays at a fairly calm level and I simply let my body move gently to the point of no return and ejaculate (this happens at about the same frequency as my wife but not necessarily on the same occasion). Again the sensations of ejaculation are much more gentle than in the past – usually just a gentle swelling feeling.
What I have noticed is that as time has gone on I often have quite intense feelings – almost like an orgasm during intercourse but without ejaculating. It builds up to a tremendous feeling of pleasure and then subsides. Presumably these are actually orgasms but without the ‘normal’ ejaculation. I also find that I stay hard and can then continue moving inside my wife.
Have others experienced this ‘orgasm’ like sensation without ejaculating.
Finally, I’m just so pleased that I came across this concept of karezza, even though we don’t follow it as strictly as some do.