Craving gay porn/sex. I hate this feeling, because I really didn't do gay porn until the days before I quit (though I did escalate to many men per scene because I was starting to "realize" I'm gay). I would love for this wave of anxiety to pass and to be with my girlfriend. I'm starting to believe that we're not meant to be together. It sucks. I'm sure these are all thoughts and part of the reboot, but it's bugging me out. And I hate the fact that my girl's genitals are spiking me, while fantasizing about man's aren't. Anyway, I may update later today, but I'm not doing well at this moment.