I want to mention that I had a couple of relapses, about 50+ days in. On the bright side, my sexuality is restored. I am not even gay or bi. I'm feeling better and my relationship has improved. The key word is "happier". I have not been able to use that word in a very long time.
On the bad side, this leaves me with choices to make. Women get me off. Masturbating to fantasy sucks - I need a visual, yet I get horny. I see something arousing, and I want it. It seems perfectly natural. I likely won't defeat that. Yet, I don't want to deal with the negative effects of porn, because of habituation. I've seen where that goes, even though it feels incredible.
I think I am at a point where I might want to give Karezza a more serious look. I think logically, it's a better decision for what to do with my body. It's a similar lifestyle choice as when I chose to cut back on red meat. Yes, I've always loved red meat. Very very much. BUT, I didn't like the effects it was creating in my body after I ate it, especially at night. So maybe, on occasion, I'll have it if it's prepared well. On the whole though, I think I'm better off without it. And maybe Karezza will pan out to be a similar lifestyle choice, one where I may be happier. I've fooled with it, so now I more seriously think of all the positives, such as maintaining and possibly growing my relationship with my girlfriend, while not falling too hard for lust, because I will be sexually satisfied, more or less. I don't know how it will work out, but as a person who loves to problem-solve often, I think that like many other things, there can be an elegant solution to the problem of my sometimes-erratic and misdirected sexualness ("ness" because of the living quality of it), especially thinking in the context of my relationship. I don't believe in eternal suffering as a necessity, and though at times we may (or may not) convince ourselves of this necessity, I don't believe it. I do, however, believe in elegance and grace, if we are faithful enough to the cause to find it (or even fall into it).
On a related note, I think my mind has gotten very tired of HOCD and all the stuff. So, after a while, I think I'm ready to move forward and playfully experiment with what might make me and others around me happier.