mwa's blog

Having good sex, but not seeing much progress, needing advice

Submitted by mwa on

I have been having good sex, often multiple times in a night, but not seeing much progress with my erections. I am very rarely at over 70% and usually have to do a fairly soft entry before I get hard enough to have sex.

I notice that if I feel the slightest bit of pressure, such as when she is ready to go and instigates sex, or we want to do something different like go at it in the car, I'm lifeless down there. Also mornings are more of a problem than evenings.

Other addictions, binging, ups and downs

Submitted by mwa on

Day 78 today. 34 years old. Having (great) regular sex to O with a woman now, still PM free for the entire time.

I don't feel out of the woods with ED, but I haven't had a night yet where I couldn't get down at least once, with a condom. That's a definite improvement for me with a new partner. One thing I noticed that was a real wake up call was the sensitivity to oral sex now. I have never been a big fan of the BJ, but wow, now I get it. Without a doubt, M'ing messes with your sensitivity.

Day 70, New Partner Update

Submitted by mwa on

Around day 50 I met a girl off of an online dating site in person. She's a single mom, pretty normal, and someone I probably would never have met just off the street.

On the second date things got a little heavy and I got nervous. I told her about some of this process and she seemed into it. I wrote about this in a previous blog entry. We didn't have sex that night.

I'm 34 and have had some ED with new partners in the past. Part of it is anxiety, but I'm sure the daily PMO habit was doing something.

Day 59, Age 34; A new partner and still issues

Submitted by mwa on

Good news and bad news.

The good news: I found a very sweet new partner who seems all about the idea of karezza and this path of moderation with orgasm.

The bad: I stayed the night at her house last night and my penis wasn't really any better than before the process. If anything felt more stressed than ever.

Went out alone and got hit on, which brings up some concerns

Submitted by mwa on

I really try and avoid going to bars alone. Usually I just feel out of place and end up staring at some ball game I'm not at all interested in.

But one thing this process is teaching me is that you aren't going to get shit just sitting at home. Nada. Now we don't have an outlet if we do decide to hide away, so we have no choice any more.

Day 49, Age 34; First date since reboot

Submitted by mwa on

Today makes 7 weeks of no PMO. The last week I've felt my energy return, but I still feel relatively flatlined.

For the last 6 weeks I've been messing around with a dating site, OK Cupid. I got my first date off it two days ago.

I don't go on many dates. I'm good looking, tall, yada yada, but all my life I've made myself believe I am socially awkward and never learned to put myself out there. So I learned to hide from the world with video games, porn, or other solitary pursuits. And booze.

Day 47, Energy returning

Submitted by mwa on

The last few days I've felt that core of energy returning that I felt during the first couple of weeks.

Just to clarify I haven't PMO'd at all in the last 47days. Single. 34 yrs. old. Some ED issues with new partners. Decreased sensitivity and enjoyment of real sex. Death grip when masturbating.

This energy makes me feel like a better person. More patient, kind, and outgoing. I even feel more interactive with my son.

Day 41-trudging along

Submitted by mwa on

Yesterday I felt that core of energy again that I felt the first couple of weeks. It's a good feeling but along with it comes more intense feelings of loneliness and irritability. It's not really a focused energy either, I don't necessarily get more done when I feel that way.

Sleep has been inconsistent. One night I sleep great, the next it's fitful.

More night wood than morning. I read on YBOP that testosterone plays more of a role in night wood and dopamine influences morning. Sounds like I have more time to go.

Day 35, 5 Weeks!

Submitted by mwa on

Still flatline. Sleep has been spotty. When I started the process I was getting some great sleep, very deep, restful, about 9 hrs. Now it feels lighter and I'm waking up more, last night at 3 AM.

Very little PM or even morning erections.

I have this sense that when this flatline eases I'll be ready for some female connection. Maybe that is wishful thinking.

Still scatterbrained. The other day I left a steak I had bought at the grocery store. I forget things that I wanted to get done. Life seems a little overwhelming right now.