12 weeks

Submitted by needhops on
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From a physical perspective, I believe I am cured. I can get hard pretty easily just thinking about kissing a girl. From a mental perspective, I feel like I'm making progress but still have ways to go.

Positive recent changes:

-much less of a people pleaser around girls. Up till recently I've always felt this need to come of as funny, but all of a sudden I feel how lame that really is. I just want to be my genuine self.
-sex is not on my mind as often. Usually when I'm sitting by myself or in bed I can't help but fantasize, but as someone else put it, I feel like I'm losing that ability to fantasize.

Things I feel I need to improve on(why I'm not cured)

-while it's getting better, if I am talking to a girl sex does cross my mind instantly. This takes away from this desire I have to be myself. I'm sure it definitely gives of a negative/creepy vibe.
-I'm generally not a shy person, but I do still feel shy around girls. This is still a sharp contrast to my younger days in which I would take any excuse in the world to talk to girls. I really hope I can get back to that state of mind.

I have had a lot of instability recently with the wetdream, small relapse and the depression/flatline leading up to that relapse. I was feeling pretty great before all this happend so I hope I even out in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I want to eliminate everythng that even resembles fantasy with a girl, no matter how innocent. I'm also gonna do my best to keep sex of my mind when talking to girls.