Day 85

Submitted by needhops on
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I mentioned that I had a look at p and moed once to one video this past weekend. It was day 80 when it happend. It did not seem to bother me much...no real anxiety the next day and no chaser either. Still today I'm getting mad at my self...it was very stupid and I was taking steps in the wrong direction. Rebooting is all about movinng forward! Anyway,still have not been with any girls and have no real prospects right now:(. oN the brightside I can feel myself changing for the better...when I was pmoing, I basically could not talk to a girl at all sober. Would choke up with anxiety. I still feel a little tight, but it's slowly getting easier. It's no more a total panic attack. As I mentioned in my last post, I realize some of the negative habits I have, and I feel they are a result of pmo. They were not a problem when I was 11-12, especially around girls. I've had some flashes of my old self, but I'd like it to be more consistent.

My new goal is to get to September without anymore pmo. That would put me at around 270 days with only one mo to p. I definitely think I am someone who will need well over 100 days based on my progress so far. It truly makes sense to me. When i was a little charasmatic 11 yearold I wasn't thinking about sex. Well, after that I became a sexually obsessed adolescent who only thought about sex with girls. IT really ruined my teenage years and I'm sure it will take a long time to reset my brain. I'm my old fun charasmatic self around guys, even ones I don't know, so I know instill have the ability. I have gotten a lot more respect around my guy friends too. I just want to focus it on girls! Some guys who have rebootrs have said that wthey have had a perspective change in which a convo with a girl is goalless. This is what I need.

Definitely think I am in a flatline part 2. Besides the day following relapse and the wetdream, I have had no erections or fantasy in the past few days. Thankfully the depression from lastweek is gone. That was really miserable.

That's all for now trying to stay occupied and optimistic. Focusing on the end goal