Reboot 2: day 57

Submitted by needhops on
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It amazes me how I still see improvements even though I essentially started this back in January. I'm still coming out of my shell and my personality is starting to really comeback. I feel like I am someone who has taken a longer time to recover because I've picked up some habits long the way that are probably a result of my porn use, but not directly from my porn use.

I Was at a family reunion for the past 5 days. Usually I am very antisocial and awkward at these things, but this time I was very lively and social. I had fun the whole time. In the past I might have been able to put up a facade for a day or so but I felt it took to much effort. Also, usually I have to be drunk to loosen up like I did, but I didn't drink. Alcohol was available but I just passed on it.I used to use alcohol to relax and loosen up, but now that I don't need booze anymore, I've become a very light drinker. Feeling very confident recently.

Been taking more social risks like I mentioned in my last post. It feels so much better than worrying about always saying the perfect thing. It's also really paying off.

Tiny porn relapse on day 46 hasn't had any negative effects. Very thankful for that. I did have a wetdream last night. One of those times where I thought I was relapsing but then I woke up and realized it was a dream. I did o but it's out of my control. I've also noticed that I feel kinda shitty after a wetdream, more so than after MO. It's not bad enough to have an outwardly effect but I can feel it. I've also managed to keep clean of MO and that has been helpful.

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