sign of life

Submitted by needhops on
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If you didn't read my last comment on my last blog post I needa fill you in...I took add med to study and it gave me a lot of confidence and euphoria, but i know its fake so I wasn't reading into it as any sign of recovery. However, literally just now I had this urge...I'm pretty confident this was not add med related at all. I had this surge in the middle of my chest to be with a girl. It wasn't like a horny feeling, it was just a desire. I felt like something in my chest exploded.

Honestly there was no dopamine rush that compares to PMO, but the overall feeling was waaay better. Just a libido surge if thats what it was. For people going through the mopping/depressive phase of your recovery when you start to question whether this will work or whether your a freak case that can't be cured...keep goin I was there once to... when you get this feeling, youll know its all worth it.

I don't know if this is a temperary high or what it is, but I feel like i'm starting to understand this perception shift. It's kinda like what i've been wanted to achieve. I have a desire to TALK to girls right now, not have sex with them. Imagine your at a bar and all you want to do is talk to a girl. That is your dopamine source. Well it seems so reasonable now to go talk to a girl, I don't feel any anxiety like I would when I would think about approaching a girl. Im not thinking/analyzing what im going to say ect. Again, im completely all talk right now because I have not effortlessly go up to girls and talk to them, but it all of a sudden doesn't seem like such a daunting task.

Btw you should really start blogging if you havent. It felt weird at first talking to strangers about my most delicate secrets but after after 4 short days I feel like im posting all over this site. It makes me feel better to know that I'm helping other people along with myself. it's terrible to take this journey on your own.

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