Recent tweaks.

Submitted by New dawn on
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My goodness, I have gained so much from revisiting Reuniting recently. The tips I have picked up from wealth of info on this wonderful site have made a huge difference to my practice in recent months, just wanted to express my deepest gratitude to Marnia and everyone who has ever contributed.

Our Karezza has gotten far better lately due to a few things:

Firstly, not using condoms for bc anymore has changed everything. We have been practising Karezza for 15ish years (been at least a decade since I last posted here) but only reached the next level of wow when we transitioned to using an subscription based temp charting contraceptive app to give green days and red days.

Secondly, when I learnt about staying at 6 or 7 not 8 or 9, led me to relaxing as opposed to holding on tight and needing to stop often to stay off the edge (thinking back we did this for most of it, doesn't sound fun but had the trade off that the chemistry between us at least stayed alive for all those years). It is the paradox of Karezza, the most amazing feelings happen during each moment of letting go of tension not building up of tension as in the "normal" way.

Thirdly, the sending of the energy generated to the heart has had a profound effect on me. Nowadays I feel easily elated by any damn thing. A real lightness of being. What a huge gift I have received, to have learnt this and experienced the cumulative effects of this practice. Thank you again so very much.

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can you please elaborate on this...

Thank you -- curious about "Thirdly, the sending of the energy generated to the heart has had a profound effect on me. Nowadays I feel easily elated by any damn thing. A real lightness of being."

And thanks for visiting here again!

 

I Am Very Happy for You

How wonderful, that "...Nowadays I feel easily elated by any damn thing. A real lightness of being..."

May the rest of us get there, and soon!

Fascinating, your experience and insight, "...It is the paradox of Karezza, the most amazing feelings happen during each moment of letting go of tension not building up of tension as in the "normal" way..."

No doubt, I am a Karezza Neanderthal, who alternates lustful movement and stillness. Between your recount and my read of Marnia's recent relink to her summary of Weor -- in which he speaks of using stillness and savoring the feelings that arise from it -- it sounds most worthwhile to explore this alternate technique and path.

Thanks for sharing!

Neanderthal

Over the years one thing I've consistently found with sex (karezza or otherwise) is that if I stay still and relax for any length of time I very quickly enter a dozy state, with detumescence and sleep following close behind. My wife is even faster than me at nodding off. This is very pleasant, but hardly more so than non sexual cuddling is anyway. I've never been able to fathom how anyone can sustain any sort of sexual charge in stillness lasting more than than a minute or two.

I can see I still have a long way to go!

Dozing off

It bothers me! My wife takes things as they come, but I am so eager for sexual pleasure I get frustrated if it slips away from my grasp almost before it's begun.

Lying together in a relaxed, sleepy state is wonderful to experience. We both find it deeply satisfying and recuperative. However, we don't always want to be doing this, at least not from the outset, and since I know, well in advance, that relative inactivity during sex is almost certain to lead to it, I favour movement over stillness.

I am curious to know how others manage to remain sexually engaged without overt movement. It seems such a contradiction to me. Of course, by 'movement', people may mean different things. Our movement is pretty slow compared to what it once was. Maybe eventually it will slow down to snail pace and finally we will appear not to be moving at all.

I never really find out

because I am moving much of the time. Moving and then pausing for 20 seconds or so, then moving. I am not "pumping" in the old sense. I am moving and she is responding and then there is stillness but never long enough to doze off.

I'm more like to get too close to the edge, stop and back off, so there is nothing sleepy about it.

I think one reason is my wife doesn't like sex as much as I do. And she doesn't want to spend more than 20 or 30 minutes or so at it really. So I feel that I don't want to just stop and wait and "be" in limbo...I want to maximize the pleasure during that time.