Yesterday my girlfriend and I did karezza for about 45 minutes. I felt similar afterwards to how I felt after the last post, peaceful and happy. This time, there was more of a significant feeling of relief and satisfaction. Although, it's different to the relief and satisfaction that is had after an orgasm.
I just had a lovely karezza session. It was short, just 20 minutes, but the best sex I have ever had.
It felt amazing. We barely moved. We kept very still. I was just focussing on the sensations. How it felt to be inside her. How it felt to be received by her. How her hands felt brushing across my back. How we smell together, the scent of our kisses. I was so aroused and full throughout. It required no movement or stimulation. Just very relaxed.
I'm not feeling good today. I'm not sure why.
I have the same feeling of being in a "trance" that I'd get after watching pornography, where it's like I'm unaffected by everything around me... disassociated. I feel like a "blank stare," and have a lack of inner coherance. It's not nice! The last time I felt like this was after my last relapse, 22 days ago, when I joined the forum. Have any of you guys felt like this?
I've had a lot of negativity going through me. Anger (rage). Confusion. Worry. Paranoia. Feelings of hate and blame towards the world.
A quick update as to how things have been over the past few days :)
I've been watching porn and masturbating since I was 14. I'm now 25. Throughout my teenage years and into my twenties, I'd masturbate to porn on a daily basis. Sometimes I'd PMO more then once a day - sometimes up to four times in a day. Writing this, I realize just how much that is! For about 10 years, the same, everyday. No wonder I'm addicted!