Last night I had a dream that I was watching an old porn clip I used to love. Scared the shit out of me because I thought it was real. In the dream, for some reason I was being forced to watch it, though I'm not sure who was making me do it. In any case, I resisted before indulging myself and having an orgasm, and then I woke up. Anybody else go through this? I actually feel like I relapsed, it was so vivid.
Day 26 no PMO. Almost since Day 1, I have been having very vivid sexual / romantic dreams. I stopped having them for maybe a week, and then I started again a day or two ago. Last night's was very vivid, and included two different "parts". In one "part" I actually dreamed about relapsing back into PMO (kinda weird, right), and the only way that I knew it wasn't a dream is because I woke up in the middle of it; the second dream involved me having a very romantic, warm sexual experience (almost karezza-like, I guess) with a female friend of mine.
So I'm at day 24. Done with all of my coursework for the semester (I'm a graduate student). And for some reason, the temptation was raging all day today for me to indulge in MO. I have no temptation to go to P, but of course that usually follows MO, so I'm trying to stay as far away from MO as possible too. Also, I think my addiction was just as much MO as it was P, so yeah. I need to stop.
So, I posted a forum topic a couple of days ago, but I decided I should just start a blog.
I'm in my mid 20s. I have M'd since I was very young, about 10 or 11 years old. I'm not sure when I first started looking at porn, but the first time I started using P to M was sometime around 18-19 when I first left home to go away for college. The addiction came a couple of years later.