Hello everyone. I felt that it was necessary for me to update my status just in case someone was just browsing the website and happened to come across my postings and felt that they had a similar issue to mine. I'm always grateful to those who provide status updates as I'd like to see how they went about solving their problem.
About a week ago, i had sex with my girlfriend and i actually lasted a good long while without ejaculating ! A bit after my last post here, I just said "fuck it " i'm going to ejaculate as many times as necessary and not care about the orgasm cycle till I can last as long as I want.
How it would usually go :
We would go for about 2 - 3 rounds ( of me ejaculating ) each session. Round 1 would be the shortest. I would typically ejaculate upon entry, and with all the effort it took to put on a condom and get into position, we transitioned into the first round being oral sex as i would last longer with that. After round 1 though, i would just be out of energy and desire to do anything sexual( even though she did all the work ) so we would just have a random conversation. After some time, I would either typically get myself back to an erection by grabbing her butt , licking/kissing and feeling her body and/or she would stimulate me.
Typically, round 2 I would end up ejaculating, but not after being able to thrust for a good 5-10 minutes. I would avoid doing consecutive deep thrusts and NO fast thrusts. My technique was to do 9 shallow 1 deep , 8 shallow 2 deep, 7 shallow 3 deep and restart. The position I would last in the longest was doggy style. I wouldn't last much in missionary or sideways. We also would be limited to having sex in a car so not much room for experimenting positions.
Last week's experience :
Last week we had access to my bedroom which was awesome ! I ejaculated through oral sex with round 1, but round 2 this time I had sooo much more control. We experimented with a few positions, I thrusted deep a few more times, and allowed myself to go fast for short bursts near the end. The fast thrusts were what got me to sense that I would ejaculate so I pulled out and decided that I wasn't going to let myself get there. Probably was at least 15 mins . My gf was very pleased even though she didn't ejaculate from sex.
Keys to my progress :
- A very very supportive gf. She was happy as long as we were intimate together and i don't think she's ever been mad or pissed off at me for lasting just a second. She would totally be ok with it.
- I tried my best to at least make my gf ejaculate once during each session. I would try to make her be the first to ejaculate as after I ejaculate I don't have the energy. This would happen through oral sex. I still haven't made her orgasm from sex though, but we'll get there.
- Forget about the 2 week cycle . Take more responsibility for my mood swings and don't just blame it on fluctuating hormones. There are other factors too. Actually combat them instead of just giving in.
- I had my gf not move at all during sex so I had all the control. This helped a lot. She wanted to thrust as well but she later realized that she was more sensitive when I just did the thrusting. She did get a lot of pleasure though when I did the fast thrusts last time.
- after my gf ejaculates the first time, it's tough to get her wet again. We'd have to use lube. How can we avoid that ?
- Sex itself still doesn't bring me pleasure. I'm not feeling much pleasure through my penis. stimulating other parts of my body brings me more pleasure. Why ?
- Lately, I've been looking at a lot of erotic images of women on social media. With a particular focus on their butts. I've masturbated a few times, but not really to the photos. I still desire my gf. Is this a problem ? I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out my stance on erotic photography and masturbation.
Thanks for reading all this if you did ! I'd appreciate any responses to my concerns and critique on how i've gone about solving my problem. You've all been a great help.