Ok, it happened again this afternoon - I did M and O again. I think I was too confident that I would be able to stay sober. This is the problem if I start relaxing. The whole week was so busy and strenuous; I didn't even feel like doing it. Plus I was still on my period until a few days ago. Now it's this difficult time again. Of course it felt good to get relief of my tension, but I feel stirred up now - imbalanced. I hope I can leave it at this one time and move on. Well, of course I can - I just have to be willing enough!