what to do about misbehavior

Submitted by psychonaut on
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I wanted to know what to do about this. I asked 1 friend and normally ask more than one when have problem but dont want embarass myself later if this work out and all my close friends know she is cheater.

I was seeing this girl a few months and we were fight a lot. We broke up and she say she want see other people. a couple week and later she came begging me back and say she had sex with a guy about a week after we broke up, but that it was unfulfilling and she feel really bad mainly bc there was no connection like we had. technically not cheating but I still feel betrayal as if it was. Its hard I do love her and see in her eyes that she feel bad and want me to just forgive her and stop hanging it over her head, but I feel I have to deal with my feeling and afraid to forgive easily make her think I am chump and she can do whatever she wants. But she has been nicer to me lately than before And I try to just hang out with her and cudle not ready for sex yet I am still angry. I have been cheated before, but she was honest n upfront about so that is good in a way yes?

But then we get into fight again and she hasn't spoken to call or txt in a week. I am afraid she may be with other dude now, but maybe she just need time and space and maybe she feel unworthy now, but I do love her lots.

But my question. I have used google to try and read a few pages what to do about cheaters. They all seem black and white some say if she is sincere and try to make it right and maybe counseling maybe it can work and others say dump her like bad habit don't look back ever.

But I have feeling there may be more to it or a better solution and you people have much different view on sexuality and spirituality, so maybe you can tell me better solution. I like taoist middle path by the way on things, balance. And I believe all things can heal on spiritual different level more important than bio level brain body...

If she is sincere and genuinely try to make it right and make it work, can I slowly trust again? and can things be like were before?

Comments

Has anyone here forgiven

Has anyone here forgiven cheating and had success in the relationship and can tell about it? I was hoping for positive stories as I am feel very dark and negative about it right now...

There are good books

by counselors on this subject. Check out one of them. I'm not sure this forum is the best place to find that kind of support.

Don't rush your feelings. It's normal to feel hurt for a bit after any betrayal. Just keep asking yourself how you can reframe the situation so that it's not so painful. The insights will come if you let them.